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Band 4.5

Some people think that traveling abroad is an important experience for youngsters. Others think that involves too much time and expenses. Discuss both perspectives And give your opinion.

#people #youngsters #time #expenses #perspectives
While
 some individuals believe that taking young people outside the country is a chance for young society to experiment
new
Change preposition
with new
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 things which I agree with as
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 helps them to be more self-depended and gives them a sense of real life out there , but some other groups don't think so as
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 expensive and
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
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 of time for them ,
this
 essay will discuss both views and show my own opinion .
First,
I do think by allowing teenagers and young people to stay abroad for some time in the holidays they got more freedom to be independent themselves and discover the cities and area around
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
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for example
 talking with the locals and making new friendships with no fear would incareg them to go out more often and get to know new persons .
also
, they get to see what is real life like in other countries in case they would like to immigrate and stay somewhere else like some population have gone to
emaraits
Correct your spelling
emails
 on short holidays and they love the country so they decide to go back there in order to live and work permanently on the other side, the people who disagree think it
un necessary
Correct your spelling
unnecessary
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 to extra expenses like buying a ticket for the trip and booking a hotel to stay at ,that
also
 time-consuming for these young kids , and it's better to spend that during proper training than may add to there work experience in future. In conclusion, I do believe that having a chance to live for a short period in other countries for kids and teens is very important to build up their self-confidence and real view of the outside world ,
also
Rephrase
apply
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for some, it's still a costly thing to do and needs a lot of free time .
Submitted by hebadyala on

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Introduction
Your introduction should clearly present the two sides of the argument and your thesis without grammatical inaccuracies.
Sentence Structure
Sentences should exhibit a range of structures and vocabulary, but they need to be error-free to improve logical flow and coherence.
Paragraph Structure
The logical structure of your essay should be clear, with body paragraphs that each discuss a single main idea related to the topic, linking these back to the introductory thesis.
Supporting Evidence
Develop your main points with detailed explanations or examples. Avoid generalizations that don't directly support the argument.
Conclusion
The conclusion should be a summary of the points made, plus your final opinion. Avoid introducing new arguments.
Task Response
Address all parts of the task by discussing both views and providing a personal opinion clearly and directly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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