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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows the amount in grams of potatoes, pasta and rice eaten in a European country between 1976 and 2006.

The graph below shows the amount in grams of potatoes, pasta and rice eaten in a European country between 1976 and 2006.
#amount #grams #potatoes #pasta #rice #european #country
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The line chart illustrates
potatoes
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,
pasta
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 and
rice
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 weight in
grams
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 which
consumed
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were consumed
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 in a particular
Europian Country
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European country
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 during 40
years
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 from 1976 to 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
potatoes
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 experienced a sharp decline
while
Linking Words
pasta
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 was stable and
rice
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 slightly increased
at the end
Linking Words
 of
period
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the period
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. Looking in more detail,
Pasta
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 and
Rice
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 stood at about 300
grams
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 in 1976. For
pasta
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, there was a significant increase until 1996
and
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apply
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followed by stable consumption for 10
years
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. Meanwhile,
Rice
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 experienced a gradual fall,
then
Linking Words
 it slightly rose
about
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to about
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 200
grams
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 in 2006. In the meantime,
potatoes
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 fluctuated slightly throughout
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years
Correct article usage
the years
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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began
Wrong verb form
beginning
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over
Change preposition
with over
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 400
grams
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 consumption of
potatoes
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 at the beginning.
Next,
Linking Words
it significantly grew for 5
years
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 and
followed
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was followed
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 by some fluctuations until 1996.
Then
Linking Words
, the demand for
potatoes
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 sharply decreased
at the end
Linking Words
 of time.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words potatoes, pasta, rice, grams, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
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