It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantageous of taking risks outweigh the disadvantageous?
It is often argued that taking
risk
is essential for personal Fix the agreement mistake
risks
life
as well as
professional career and individuals consider it for making changes not only in their own lives but also
in society.There are pros and crons
for Correct your spelling
cons
this
issue.However
, by weighing both sides of the argument, I believe that it has more positive than negative outcomes.
In our modern world, everybody tends to live life
to the full and a major factor for
achieving Change preposition
in
this
goal is the ability of taking
Replace the preposition
to take
risk
in varied situations. In Fix the agreement mistake
risks
this
way, it is expected to improve if you could
make Wrong verb form
can
a
good Correct article usage
apply
decision
and manage your Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
works
. Fix the agreement mistake
work
For instance
,when you face a new job opportunity with higher
income Correct article usage
a higher
while
your global condition at workplace
is nearly satisfying, it would be a risky choice to change it Add an article
the workplace
although
it may result in promotion and improvement. The other benefit is for youngesters
who enjoy living Correct your spelling
youngsters
life
on the edge and this
will assist them to find more personal fulfillment
. They are likely to be enthusiastic Change the spelling
fulfilment
in
new experiences so taking Change preposition
about
Add an article
a risk
risk
not only is interesting for them but Fix the agreement mistake
risks
also
can counterbute
to their progress.
Correct your spelling
contribute
On the other hand
, people who change their permanent career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
recklessnessly
are more in danger of facing financial problems as they are not able to earn money regularly.Correct your spelling
recklessly
This
can affect their personal life
and may cause anxiety. However
, mature individuals consider all the conditions and can predict the consequences of their decision clearly so it is not expected to result in disaster due to
the variety of choices that they have.
To conclude
, in my perspective, As risk-takers are into novel experiences, they may be more successful and pleased in their lives but distinguishing the effective changes and making beneficial decision
is necessary.Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
Submitted by s.hemmati.p on
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Task Achievement
Task achievement: Your essay discusses both sides of the argument regarding risk-taking, which is commendable. However, specific examples to illustrate the points made would enhance the clarity and impact of the argument. While you have addressed the task given, including more concrete and detailed examples would provide a more complete response and help to make the ideas conveyed more precise and comprehensive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: There is a logical flow to the essay, with an introduction and conclusion present. The essay generally follows a sensible structure, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the discussion. However, there are instances where connectivity between ideas could be improved through better transitions and linking phrases. Be mindful of spelling and grammar as well, since there are minor errors in your writing (e.g., 'cron' should be 'con', 'recklessnessly' should be 'recklessly'). These detract from the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.