IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that robots are important for human future development. Others think that robots have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #robots #future #development #effects #society
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There has been a debate about whether
robots
Use synonyms
 are
future
Correct article usage
the future
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humanity’s
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of humanity’s
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 vital invention, or
they
Correct word choice
whether they
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 bring adverse effects to our society. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both these viewpoints and argue for the second one.
To begin
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 with, those who advocate for the first view suggest that
robots
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 help assist
our
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with our
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 household chores. They are designed with the aim of doing
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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such
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 as cleaning the window, cooking, etc… which is considerably helpful when we have other more essential work to handle. We can
also
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 see that many cutting-edge AI machines nowadays have been introduced mostly for housework purposes, especially when it comes to the robotic vacuum cleaner, one of the most efficient home
robots
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, as it helps clean our house automatically within a small amount of time.
This
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 allows us to concentrate on more crucial tasks
instead
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 of spending time dealing with household chores,
as a result
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.
However
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, I reckon that
robots
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 can detrimentally affect the preservation of electricity, regardless of the benefits. The reason is they play an essential role
on
Change preposition
in
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 our housework because people tend to do more important tasks rather than doing these, as mentioned previously and that would leave a great attraction to the tech marketing tendency, persuing them to sell more
robots
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 making more customers to buy more.
This
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 will influence a rise in electricity usage, thereby causing a shortage of it, and I believe that without the existence of
robots
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, the world’s electrical resources will be sustained.
To conclude
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, though I acknowledge the merit of
robots
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is
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in
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 helping with our household chores, it seems to me the drawbacks, reducing electricity sources, are more considerable.
Submitted by thsdcs on

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introduction conclusion
Your essay needs a more fully developed introduction and conclusion. They should be distinct paragraphs that encapsulate the main issues and your final position clearly, while presently they are somewhat brief and lack depth.
logical structure
The essay should be organized into more clear and distinct paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, further explained and supported by examples.
supported main points
You need to include more precise and relevant examples to support your points. Vague references to 'cutting-edge AI machines' and 'more essential work' need to be expanded with concrete details.
complete response
To fully address the task, you should thoroughly discuss both sides of the argument before providing your own viewpoint. Make sure that each view is equally explored and that your opinion is clear throughout the essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ideas presented need to be more comprehensive and developed. The essay loosely refers to potential problems like excessive electricity consumption, but it does not delve into the deeper implications or offer a nuanced discussion.
relevant specific examples
Examples given to support arguments are insufficiently specific. To illustrate your points on the potential negative effects of robots, for example, provide concrete scenarios, data, or case studies where applicable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • automation
  • precision
  • efficiency
  • production outputs
  • cost savings
  • innovation
  • medical outcomes
  • human error
  • exploration
  • hazardous environments
  • unemployment
  • economic disparity
  • ethical concerns
  • privacy
  • security
  • misuse
  • dependency
  • overreliance
  • social isolation
  • manual labor
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