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Writing Samples
Band 5

Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree.

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Schools are fundamentally
instituions
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institutions
institution
 designed for academic success and examinations,
however
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, other
essentials
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essential
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 skills,
such
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 as
,
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apply
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 cooking
are
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is
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 not given due importance. I believe that
,
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apply
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 schools should make time for both subjects and give them equal value. Academic achievements and exam success
is
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are
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 part of the nature of going to school. When an individual performs well in
such
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 tests, it is a form of personal validation and a credit to their own
hardwork
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hard work
.
Moreover
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, when applying for competitive fields,
such
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 as medicine, it is these results that set candidates apart and
determines
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determine
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 who is the best for
such
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 an occupation.
Furthermore
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, these
assesments
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assessments
 require dedication, passion and good
time keeping
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time-keeping
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 skills, all of which are needed in the pursuit of
further
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 education and life.
On the other hand
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, knowledge
on
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of
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 subjects like, cookery, dressmaking and woodwork, are fundamentals that every pupil should be taught. Usually, it is believed that learning
such
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 crafts should be the responsibility of the family or their friends. Whilst,
this
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maybe
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may be
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 true, it is better if
such
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 concepts were introduced into the curriculum, as students will develop a natural interest in these matters. Learning about cookery and woodwork are basic life skills that every child should be equipped with, and are needed throughout their lives just as much as exams.
In addition
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 to
this
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, dressmaking and baking could provide a good break from other more stressful subjects, like maths, and encourage children to look forward to performing
such
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 tasks. In conclusion, I disagree with the notion that schools should just focus on results and academics, rather there should be an equal opportunity for both skill sets to be learnt

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task achievement
Ensure each body paragraph focuses on a single main idea, providing clear and specific examples to support your argument. Expand your points with detailed explanations to increase the clarity of your ideas and argumentative strength.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your essay has a clear and logical structure with well-connected ideas. Use a variety of linking words to ensure coherence throughout your essay. Each paragraph should flow naturally into the next, with each one building upon the previous point.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic success
  • passing examinations
  • cookery
  • dressmaking
  • woodwork
  • learn from family and friends
  • personalized learning environment
  • supportive learning environment
  • well-rounded education
  • school curriculum
  • resources
  • expert guidance
  • enhance creativity
  • problem-solving
  • teamwork
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