Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.

Nowadays, many students who study in universities are
intrested
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interested
to learn
Change preposition
in learning
show examples
a
varid
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variety
subjects
besides
of their main major.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
some other
part
Change the wording
parts
show examples
of their society believe that it is more
nessesery
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necessary
to
fouces
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focus
focuses
on their
studies
for qualifications. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I
disscuse
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discuss
both sides and
at the
end
Add a comma
end,
show examples
I
peresnt
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present
per cent
my opinion. To
begien
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begin
with, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
a part of
people
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
studies
higher education and like
study
Fix the infinitive
to study
show examples
other subjects. In fact, their main opinion is
taht
Correct your spelling
that
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
should be
multi-dimentions
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multi-dimensions
multi-dimensional
which means that they recommend
to learn
Change the verb form
learning
show examples
about many
topic
Change to a plural noun
topics
show examples
cause
Change preposition
because
show examples
this areas
Change the determiner
this area
these areas
show examples
of
knoledge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
are
usefula
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useful
in your general life.
therefore
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
people
care less about their main field and prefer to know more about other items in their study period.
For instance
, a mechanical
engineer
Replace the word
engineering
show examples
student with
this
view may prefer to get less mark in their exam but save
thier
Correct your spelling
their
time
to read
Change preposition
by reading
show examples
books about
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
.
Although
they may
no
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not
show examples
be called
advanved
Correct your spelling
advanced
engieer
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engineer
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
they are better in
thier
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their
life
becuace
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because
they know how to save
thier mony
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their money
in
their
Change the word
the
show examples
correct way of economy.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
there are some other
student
Change the wording
students
show examples
who
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
likely to pay
thair
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their
show examples
attention to their university courses rather than other
knoledges
Correct your spelling
knowledges
knowledge
. They mostly
fouced
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focus
on their marks in the
univesity beacuase
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university because
of the qualification. They will not be
expert
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
an expert in
thier
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their
profession unless they get a good mark
therfore
Correct your spelling
therefore
they may not find a good job. As an example, when a big
company
such
as
apple
Capitalize word
Apple
show examples
looks for a code developer, one of the most important
parameter
Change to a plural noun
parameters
show examples
for the
company
in
thier
Correct your spelling
their
studies
.They check the
avrage
Correct your spelling
average
mark of each candidate in the courses and if it is less
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
a specific number they reject those candidates. So some young
people
may prefer to give most of
thier
Correct your spelling
their
time to the lessons that they have. In my point of view, it is much important to have detail in each subject and
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
benefits will be
showen
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shown
in
short
Add an article
a short
show examples
time later.
For example
, when someone have
thier
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their
own
company
, they must
khow
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know
show
that there are many parameter for controlling the
company
such
as human
resourse
Correct your spelling
resources
resource
and
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
and the
managment shound khow
Correct your spelling
management should show
them well.
This
ability comes from reading that someone had
besides
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their major. To
sumup
Correct your spelling
summarise
, there are two
idea
Change to a plural noun
ideas
show examples
, some
people
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that they have to learn about other topics and their major parallelly and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
prefer to pay more attention
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
their
studies
.
Although
the second idea
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
a senceable logic
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
I
stands
Change the verb form
stand
show examples
with the idea and I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
it is more useful
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
about every
subjects
Change to a singular noun
subject
show examples
.
Submitted by mohammad.bameri.1380 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear structure with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Use cohesive devices such as linking words to connect ideas and paragraphs smoothly. Maintain a logical sequence of ideas throughout the essay.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task. Provide a clear position throughout the essay and avoid contradicting yourself. Develop your main points with specific details and examples. Make sure your argument is well-rounded and covers different perspectives.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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