IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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In
this
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 contemporary epoch, foreign
Use synonyms
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
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 play important in order to attain knowledge for communication purposes and correcting
garmmar
Correct your spelling
grammar
.In my opinion,
this
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 statement has more reasons apart from travelling and working
such
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 as interest,
garmmer
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grammar
 or about
history
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the history
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 of
language
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 so on, which
i
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I
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 shall discuss in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, owing to several reasons that emphasise, as people are becoming more courageous to learn
foreign
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a foreign
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language
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 for involving in cultural ethics as foreigners like open relationships with others.
Moreover
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, the
cultural
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culture
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 more beliefs to follow and history has deep meaning which is only possible if individuals have
the
Correct article usage
apply
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knowledge
about
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of
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 foreign
language
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.
Therefore
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, in reality, the religious books of every religion
is
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are
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 written in its own
religion
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religious
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language
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 which is only possible if people have knowledge of that
language
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.
In addition
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 to
this
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 , there are some aspects that determine, as par
english
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English
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 is
common
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a common
the common
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language
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that is
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 spoken
in
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apply
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all over the world just for communication and
also
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use
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uses
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 in every institution like colleges and campus.
Moreover
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, people
are feeling
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feel
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 confident
while
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 speaking and
also
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 use
language
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 for writing.
this
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 will decrease the barrier
in
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apply
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between individuals.
For example
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, a survey was conducted by the United
nations
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Nations
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 census bureau, in the
usa
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USA
, in
the
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apply
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2008 ,
a
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with a
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sample size of 1437
containing
Verb problem
apply
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individuals
that
Correct word choice
and
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 89%
countries
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of countries
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 use
Correct article usage
the english
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english
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English
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language
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 for communication and learning purposes.
To conclude
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, it is clear from the above discussion that there are more advantages of foreign languages in the world
except from
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besides
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 travelling and working.

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structure
The essay needs to have a clear introduction that presents both views as well as the writer's opinion effectively. The conclusion should summarise the points made and reiterate the writer's stance. This structure was not maintained effectively in your writing.
cohesion
Use cohesive devices appropriately to link ideas across the essay. This includes transition words and phrases that will enhance the logical flow of your writing. In your essay, there are abrupt transitions and lack of clear connections between points.
development
Develop each main point adequately, providing clear arguments, explanations, and examples. While you introduced multiple ideas, they were not fully developed or supported with strong examples and evidence.
task response
Ensure your response fully addresses all parts of the task. The essay must discuss both views presented in the prompt comprehensively, and it should also clearly express your own opinion. There needs to be a balance in the discussion, which was found lacking in your essay.
language
Pay attention to grammar, accuracy, and range of vocabulary. Your essay contains several grammatical errors and instances of awkward phrasing which can hinder clear communication.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • multilingual
  • linguistic proficiency
  • globalized world
  • cross-cultural communication
  • immersive experience
  • adaptability
  • cultural exchange
  • interpersonal skills
  • employment prospects
  • empathy
  • intellectual development
  • overcome language barriers
  • global market
  • resourceful
  • life-changing
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