Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In
this
contemporary epoch, foreign
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
play important in order to attain knowledge for communication purposes and correcting
garmmar
Correct your spelling
grammar
.In my opinion,
this
statement has more reasons apart from travelling and working
such
as interest,
garmmer
Correct your spelling
grammar
or about
history
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the history
show examples
of
language
so on, which
i
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I
show examples
shall discuss in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
with, owing to several reasons that emphasise, as people are becoming more courageous to learn
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
language
for involving in cultural ethics as foreigners like open relationships with others.
Moreover
, the
cultural
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culture
show examples
have
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has
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more beliefs to follow and history has deep meaning which is only possible if individuals have
the
Correct article usage
apply
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knowledge
about
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of
show examples
foreign
language
.
Therefore
, in reality, the religious books of every religion
is
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are
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written in its own
religion
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religious
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language
which is only possible if people have knowledge of that
language
.
In addition
to
this
, there are some aspects that determine, as par
english
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English
show examples
is
common
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a common
the common
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language
that is
spoken
in
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apply
show examples
all over the world just for communication and
also
use
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uses
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in every institution like colleges and campus.
Moreover
, people
are feeling
Wrong verb form
feel
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confident
while
speaking and
also
use
language
for writing.
this
will decrease the barrier
in
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apply
show examples
between individuals.
For example
, a survey was conducted by the United
nations
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Nations
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census bureau, in the
usa
Correct your spelling
USA
, in
the
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apply
show examples
2008 ,
a
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with a
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sample size of 1437
containing
Verb problem
apply
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individuals
that
Correct word choice
and
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89%
countries
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of countries
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use
Correct article usage
the english
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english
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English
show examples
language
for communication and learning purposes.
To conclude
, it is clear from the above discussion that there are more advantages of foreign languages in the world
except from
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besides
show examples
travelling and working.
Submitted by bhullarsimran2121 on

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structure
The essay needs to have a clear introduction that presents both views as well as the writer's opinion effectively. The conclusion should summarise the points made and reiterate the writer's stance. This structure was not maintained effectively in your writing.
cohesion
Use cohesive devices appropriately to link ideas across the essay. This includes transition words and phrases that will enhance the logical flow of your writing. In your essay, there are abrupt transitions and lack of clear connections between points.
development
Develop each main point adequately, providing clear arguments, explanations, and examples. While you introduced multiple ideas, they were not fully developed or supported with strong examples and evidence.
task response
Ensure your response fully addresses all parts of the task. The essay must discuss both views presented in the prompt comprehensively, and it should also clearly express your own opinion. There needs to be a balance in the discussion, which was found lacking in your essay.
language
Pay attention to grammar, accuracy, and range of vocabulary. Your essay contains several grammatical errors and instances of awkward phrasing which can hinder clear communication.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • multilingual
  • linguistic proficiency
  • globalized world
  • cross-cultural communication
  • immersive experience
  • adaptability
  • cultural exchange
  • interpersonal skills
  • employment prospects
  • empathy
  • intellectual development
  • overcome language barriers
  • global market
  • resourceful
  • life-changing
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