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Band 4

Some people believe that once a person becomes a criminal he will always be criminal.do you agree with this statement

#people #person
Violent behaviour of
people
enforce
Verb problem
forces
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 to
do
Verb problem
commit
show examples
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
.nowadays the cases of crime
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
esclating
Correct your spelling
increasing
 day by day which
break
Correct subject-verb agreement
breaks
show examples
the trust of
people
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 each other.a majority of section deem that a criminal never change and
continuosly
Correct your spelling
continuously
 make
offences
in
Change preposition
throughout
show examples
whole
Correct pronoun usage
their whole
his whole
her whole
show examples
life
 .I disagree with the statement and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
also
 highlight my viewpoints in upcoming paragraphs. Admittedly, the main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 offence is unemployment.
Due to
 the fact that
people
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not get success and they do not meet their daily
life
 needs.
This
enforce
Verb problem
forces
show examples
 the
person
 to do offence.They take money for murders and want to spend
life
 with that.If all the personal needs of a
person
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 fulfilled,they do not become
Correct article usage
a villian
show examples
villian
Correct your spelling
villain
.It is
compulsion
Add an article
the compulsion
a compulsion
show examples
 of individuals to
do
Verb problem
commit
show examples
 crimes.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 the famous
villian
Correct your spelling
villain
 of Punjab,Sukha Khalon is
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
 good
person
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
yhe
Correct your spelling
the
 beginning of his
life
 but when he grew up his all desires
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 not satisfied and he started to
do
Verb problem
commit
show examples
 crimes.
Hence
, it is very important that government make more and more job policies for individuals.
This
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 the requirements of money and
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not
make
Verb problem
commit
show examples
offences
.
On the other hand
, society is
also
 the main reason for a
person
 to break the
laws
Fix the agreement mistake
law
show examples
.
Firstly
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not accept
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
person
 who who belongs
from
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a criminal family.They
make
Verb problem
form
show examples
Add an article
a mind
show examples
mind set
Correct your spelling
mindset
show examples
 about that
person
 and
this
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 the behaviour violent and
agressive
Correct your spelling
aggressive
.They could not interact with a proper job as a good carrier .And under those
circumstances
Add a comma
circumstances,
show examples
 criminals never work with
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
.
then
 it may boost the hearted thoughts between them.
For instance
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
offences
 have inner skills,it may boost in
person
Change noun form
person's
show examples
bet
Fix the agreement mistake
bets
show examples
 without social welcome.
To sum up
, there is
need
Correct article usage
a need
show examples
 to give chances to the
people
 who commit
offences
.
This
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 them to overcome the situation.
Best
Add an article
The best
show examples
 environment is necessary to forget their past things. It is better to give one more chance to improve their skills.
Submitted by renupoonia8683 on

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introduction
The introduction should clearly state your position and outline the main points to be discussed. Avoid vague statements and ensure you have a strong thesis.
coherence
Use a range of cohesive devices to structure your essay logically. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and follow on logically from the one before.
support
Develop your arguments with specific examples and explanations. Avoid general statements that do not support your main points.
paragraphing
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic that is developed throughout the paragraph. Use topic sentences effectively.
conclusion
Your conclusion should summarize the main points of your essay and restate your position. It should be a clear end to your argument.
task response
Address all parts of the task. Ensure you answer the question completely and that your position is clear and maintained throughout the essay.
language use
Use a variety of sentence structures, punctuation, and vocabulary to convey your points effectively and enhance the readability of your essay.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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