IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Government should spend more money on railways and roads. To what extent do yo agree or disagree with this statement

#government #money #railways #roads #yo
Hello everyone, we are members of group 3. Today, we will pick up all the
trash
 at Yen So Park. A place where people have fun and exercise, but there is a lot of
trash
. As everyone has seen, there are a lot of snack shells, disposable plastic cups, and plastic bags. They are all difficult to decompose waste and take a lot of time to decompose completely. So we split up to clean up all the
trash
 around the park. We worked
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a very happy mood, because we did something useful for society and the community. Everyone had a smile on their face. We always welcome volunteer work
that is
 useful to the community. After being cleaned of
trash
, the park has become more beautiful and airy.
While
 you were picking up
trash
, I planted some trees. Because trees help provide oxygen for humans. Let's join hands to help society develop.
Submitted by hoai150108 on

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task response
The essay did not address the given topic, which was to discuss the extent of agreement or disagreement with the statement about government spending on railways and roads. It is crucial that you respond precisely to the topic asked.
coherence cohesion
The text lacks a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which are essential for a well-structured IELTS essay. Each paragraph should have a clear purpose and be linked with cohesive devices.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Infrastructure
  • Economic development
  • Accessible
  • Efficient transport
  • Trade and tourism
  • Traffic congestion
  • Pollution
  • Public transportation
  • Emissions
  • Job opportunities
  • Workforce
  • Unemployment rates
  • Modernized
  • Safety standards
  • Budget allocation
  • Holistic approach
  • Underfunding
  • Crucial areas
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