IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Parents should take courses in parenting in order to improve the lives of their children. To what extent do you agree?

#parents #courses #lives #children
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It is better for
parents
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 to
enroll
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enrol
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 themselves in programmes related to parenting which are beneficial to improve the lives of their
children
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. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and I will discuss
about
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apply
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my opinion in upcoming paragraphs. To commence with,
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by
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joining these programmes
parents
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 can get to know their
children
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 better.
As nowadays
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Nowadays
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, it is quite hard to recognise
Childers
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Childers's
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 emotions and behaviour.
This
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 course
teach
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teaches
show examples
parents
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 about certain psychological traits about
children
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. In
this
Linking Words
way
Add a comma
way,
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parents
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 can connect with their
children
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 easily and it will
also
Linking Words
 help to strengthen the bond between them.
Furthermore
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,
children
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 sometimes are bullied and mistreated by their peers and do not share it with their
parents
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 which leads to depression.
However
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, these
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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 of courses help
parents
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 to understand
about
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apply
show examples
their
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children
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children's
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 emotions deeply.
Parents
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 can understand that their
children
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 are suffering and they are able to
him
Correct your spelling
hit
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 them.
Moreover
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,
children
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in
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at
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these age
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this age
these ages
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 are very hyperactive and
do-not
Correct your spelling
do not
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listen to their
parents
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.
Therefore
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, careful handling of
children
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 is
tought
Correct your spelling
taught
thought
 in parenting programs so that
parents
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 can
each
Correct your spelling
teach
show examples
 their
children
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 effectively and calmly, which will
also
Linking Words
 be fruitful for their future as well.
To conclude
Linking Words
, parenting courses have a great and positive impact on
parents
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 and
children
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. It would be beneficial if
parents
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are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 encouraged to join these courses.
Submitted by gazalaansari757786 on

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task achievement
The essay provides a general response to the prompt, but it lacks a strong thesis statement and clear personal stance, which are essential in fully responding to the task. Consider starting with a more nuanced introduction that directly addresses the extent to which you agree and then consistently support that stance throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
While the essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, both could be significantly improved with clearer arguments and stronger summary statements. Enhance these sections to provide a more impactful opening and closing to your essay.
coherence cohesion
The main points presented tend to be general and sometimes are repeated instead of being further developed. Aim for more in-depth elaboration on each point and try to provide specific examples to back up your arguments, thus enhancing both coherence and task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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