Some people think that family is the most powerful influence of a child's development while others thing other factors such as friends, television and music have better influence. Discuss both of views and give your opinion

#people #influence #child #development #factors #friends #television #music

Nowadays, it has become a common

argumentary

Correct your spelling

argument

question

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

, '

who

Capitalize word

Who

show examples

is making more impact

for

Change preposition

show examples

children's development?'. It is considered by many that, family background makes a massive impact

for

Change preposition

show examples

the maturing of a

child

and

on the other hand

, some people think society and modern technology are responsible too.

This

essay intends to analyse both views and explain why I am in

favor

Change the spelling

favour

show examples

with

Change preposition

show examples

the first opinion. First of all,

it is clear that

the offspring's first teachers are their parents. It is because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

children follow their parent's footpath and they watch and learn from them.

For instance

, if parents have calm and quiet qualities, their

child

is not aggressive but, very pleasant to others. Not only that but

also

, if the father and mother have special cultural influences, it can be clearly seen

Change preposition

show examples

the

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

of the

child

However

on the other hand

, when it comes to the present society, most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

television programs and music contain addictive and nude concepts.

Moreover

, when a

child

is in a developing age, they are eager to explore

such

things.

As a result

, they tend to follow these negative concepts easily.

Furthermore

, friends can be gathered with different personalities. Whilst some of them could be a better influence

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

, most probably can see the negative aspect. All in all, many argue that friends and modern technological aspects have a positive influence

for

Change preposition

show examples

the development of a

child

rather than the family. But, in my opinion, I believe the parent's contribution to the offspring's development is the most significant factor when compared to others.

Submitted by hasi13r on Wed Dec 13 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Make sure your essay is logically structured with clear and distinctive paragraphs. Your introduction should set out what will follow, each body paragraph should contain one main idea with explanations, and your conclusion should clearly summarise your views without introducing new information.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your paragraphing is clear. Each paragraph should have a clear central topic, and sentences should follow one another logically. Use a range of cohesive devices (linking words) to connect your ideas and paragraphs, but do not overuse them.

task achievement

Make sure to address all parts of the task. This includes discussing both views fully and providing your own opinion. You need to develop your main ideas with explanations and support them with evidence or examples. Specific, relevant examples enhance the strength of your argument.

task achievement

Aim to express your ideas clearly and develop them more fully to meet the requirement for a clear, comprehensive response. Avoid general statements and try to give detailed explanations and examples for the views and opinions you're presenting.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Some people consider price as the most important thing to think about when buying products (such as cellphones) or services (medical treatments) do you agree or disagree?
For many consumers, especially those with limited financial resources, price is the number one factor when buying product or service. This can be depend when its come to purchase of everyday items or frequently buying products, such as basic cellphones,Because people consider about more features and quality buying mobile phone and long lasting period of phones.Talking about service people are willing to pay during emagency situation such as medical treatment for better health.There for I would like to mention I will disagree this satatement,people are not only consider price buying product and services but also other factors such as personal Referances,service value,Quality long lasting period,easy purchasing methods.
7.5
band
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. Your friend recently came to your birthday party and bought you an expensive present. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter • thank your friend • explain how useful the present is • arrange to meet up with your friend sometime soon Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear……………………,
Hey buddy! I hope you're doing well. First of all, thanks a lot for attending my birthday party.
5.5
band
The higher proportion of older population will over take younger generation what is the reason? is it positive or negative development?
With the startling pace of social and scientific development in recent decades, the poplulation of the senior is growing, eventually, it will exceed the younger generation. In such circumstance, disadvantageous effects are unavoidable.
<4
band
Pollution levels worldwide are growing at a faster pace than expected, and climates are changing accordingly. What do you think are the causes of pollution? What are its impacts on the environment?
It is commonly known that level of human-caused pollution has significantly increased during the last decade. These changes bring tremedeous impact on an enviroment, making climate more sensative topic. In this essay I will expaund on main causes for this situation before considering its consequences for the world.
7
band
Some people choose a career, according to the social status and salary it will give them. Others choose a career, according to whether they will enjoy the work. Which do you think is the best way to choose a career? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Deciding a profession is an important milestone in our life. It is evident that a part of people select their job according to their social status and remuneration meanwhile other parts of individuals choose the profession in which they enjoy and satisfaction. I think both these play crucial roles in choosing a career. However, I personally believe that selecting an endeavour according to our enjoyment would be the best way.

Some people think that family is the most powerful influence of a child's development while others thing other factors such as friends, television and music have better influence. Discuss both of views and give your opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people consider price as the most important thing to think about when buying products (such as cellphones) or services (medical treatments) do you agree or disagree?

The higher proportion of older population will over take younger generation what is the reason? is it positive or negative development?

Pollution levels worldwide are growing at a faster pace than expected, and climates are changing accordingly. What do you think are the causes of pollution? What are its impacts on the environment?