Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?
The economy mostly depends on
gas
for everyday products and uses Use synonyms
inspite
of the negative impacts Correct your spelling
in spite
to
the environment. It is argued that if the Change preposition
on
gas
Use synonyms
price
increases, growing Use synonyms
traffic
and Use synonyms
air
Use synonyms
pollution
will be solved. In my view, I completely disagree on Use synonyms
this
count, Linking Words
however
, will discuss some effective ways that will help control the congested Linking Words
traffic
and some environmental problems.
Nowadays, many people choose to own a private vehicle Use synonyms
than
Rephrase
rather than
taking
public transportation because of the convenience. Wrong verb form
take
While
, it Linking Words
is consider
that private cars are a huge personal financial commitment Change the verb form
is considered
due to
maintenance, parking tickets, and especially Linking Words
gas
fuel. Increasing the Use synonyms
price
of Use synonyms
gas
would not solve the problem of Use synonyms
traffic
, Use synonyms
nor
Correct word choice
or
the
environmental issues. Correct article usage
apply
Also
, as the Linking Words
price
rises, the demand will decrease and the cost of living will increase. People might use their Use synonyms
vehicle
less, Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
although
, Linking Words
this
is not enough to manage the Linking Words
on-going
problem Correct your spelling
ongoing
on
Change preposition
of
traffic
Use synonyms
along with
Linking Words
air
Use synonyms
pollution
. Clearly, people tend to hustle and search for more jobs with their vehicles to prevent financial burden. Use synonyms
Consequently
, more vehicles Linking Words
in
the Change preposition
on
road
Use synonyms
,
will produce more Remove the comma
apply
pollution
and Use synonyms
traffic
.
Use synonyms
However
, there are some potential ways to alleviate Linking Words
this
situation. One is that Linking Words
government
should invest Correct article usage
the government
to
some companies that would build electric vehicles which produce less Change preposition
in
pollution
and Use synonyms
consider
Wrong verb form
are considered
an
environmentally friendly. Correct article usage
apply
In addition
, e-vehicles should Linking Words
sell
Wrong verb form
be sold
in
an affordable Change preposition
at
price
to the residents and encourage them to use Use synonyms
often
. Correct pronoun usage
them often
Also
, improved public Linking Words
road
guidelines should Use synonyms
implement
, Wrong verb form
be implemented
for instance
, restricted public parking Linking Words
especially
near busy streets. Add the comma(s)
, especially
As a result
, a wider Linking Words
road
will be provided for public and private transportation. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, encourage drivers to use alternative routes to prevent heavy Linking Words
traffic
Use synonyms
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
rush
hours.
In conclusion, even though Change preposition
during rush
that
the amount of Correct word choice
apply
traffic
is continuously increasing which Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
air
Use synonyms
pollution
, I personally disagree that Use synonyms
high
Correct article usage
the high
price
of petrol will resolve these problems. Use synonyms
However
, e-vehicles and better Linking Words
road
policies will help control Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
road
Use synonyms
traffic
and Use synonyms
air
Use synonyms
pollution
.Use synonyms
Submitted by dayanarobancho on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Your essay generally maintains a logical structure, with clear paragraphs and progression of ideas. However, it occasionally lacks clear transitions between some ideas, which can create a slight sense of disorganization. Additionally, there are a few sweeping statements that are not fully elaborated on which impacts the overall clarity.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, which is good, but could be more effective. The introduction does not completely set the stage for your argument and the conclusion is weakly phrased. This leads to an impact on the reader's comprehension of your essay's purpose and your stance on the topic.
coherence cohesion
You have supported your main points with some explanations, but there is room for improvement. You could provide more specific examples and details to substantiate your argument further. The examples used could also be more directly linked to how they address traffic and pollution issues.
task achievement
You address the task, but not all parts are fully developed. Your essay touches upon the main topic and offers some alternative solutions but fails to fully explain why increasing petrol prices will not solve traffic and pollution problems. It's important to address all parts of the prompt thoroughly.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear, but at times become comprehensive and lack depth. To improve, focus on providing deeper insights and detailed analysis for each point you make. This enables the reader to fully understand your perspective and the reasoning behind your arguments.
task achievement
You use examples to support your points, which is positive. However, these examples could be more specific and relevant to further strengthen your argument. Aim to use targeted examples that directly relate to and illuminate the point you're making, which would enhance the overall effectiveness of your essay.