Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

The economy mostly depends on
gas
for everyday products and uses
inspite
Correct your spelling
in spite
of the negative impacts
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the environment. It is argued that if the
gas
price
increases, growing
traffic
and
air
pollution
will be solved. In my view, I completely disagree on
this
count,
however
, will discuss some effective ways that will help control the congested
traffic
and some environmental problems. Nowadays, many people choose to own a private vehicle
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
taking
Wrong verb form
take
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public transportation because of the convenience.
While
, it
is consider
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is considered
show examples
that private cars are a huge personal financial commitment
due to
maintenance, parking tickets, and especially
gas
fuel. Increasing the
price
of
gas
would not solve the problem of
traffic
,
nor
Correct word choice
or
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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environmental issues.
Also
, as the
price
rises, the demand will decrease and the cost of living will increase. People might use their
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
less,
although
,
this
is not enough to manage the
on-going
Correct your spelling
ongoing
show examples
problem
on
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of
show examples
traffic
along with
air
pollution
. Clearly, people tend to hustle and search for more jobs with their vehicles to prevent financial burden.
Consequently
, more vehicles
in
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on
show examples
the
road
,
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apply
show examples
will produce more
pollution
and
traffic
.
However
, there are some potential ways to alleviate
this
situation. One is that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
should invest
to
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in
show examples
some companies that would build electric vehicles which produce less
pollution
and
consider
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are considered
show examples
an
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apply
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environmentally friendly.
In addition
, e-vehicles should
sell
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be sold
show examples
in
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at
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an affordable
price
to the residents and encourage them to use
often
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them often
show examples
.
Also
, improved public
road
guidelines should
implement
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be implemented
show examples
,
for instance
, restricted public parking
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
near busy streets.
As a result
, a wider
road
will be provided for public and private transportation.
Furthermore
, encourage drivers to use alternative routes to prevent heavy
traffic
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
rush
Change preposition
during rush
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hours. In conclusion, even though
that
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apply
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the amount of
traffic
is continuously increasing which
also
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
air
pollution
, I personally disagree that
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
price
of petrol will resolve these problems.
However
, e-vehicles and better
road
policies will help control
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
road
traffic
and
air
pollution
.
Submitted by dayanarobancho on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay generally maintains a logical structure, with clear paragraphs and progression of ideas. However, it occasionally lacks clear transitions between some ideas, which can create a slight sense of disorganization. Additionally, there are a few sweeping statements that are not fully elaborated on which impacts the overall clarity.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, which is good, but could be more effective. The introduction does not completely set the stage for your argument and the conclusion is weakly phrased. This leads to an impact on the reader's comprehension of your essay's purpose and your stance on the topic.
coherence cohesion
You have supported your main points with some explanations, but there is room for improvement. You could provide more specific examples and details to substantiate your argument further. The examples used could also be more directly linked to how they address traffic and pollution issues.
task achievement
You address the task, but not all parts are fully developed. Your essay touches upon the main topic and offers some alternative solutions but fails to fully explain why increasing petrol prices will not solve traffic and pollution problems. It's important to address all parts of the prompt thoroughly.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear, but at times become comprehensive and lack depth. To improve, focus on providing deeper insights and detailed analysis for each point you make. This enables the reader to fully understand your perspective and the reasoning behind your arguments.
task achievement
You use examples to support your points, which is positive. However, these examples could be more specific and relevant to further strengthen your argument. Aim to use targeted examples that directly relate to and illuminate the point you're making, which would enhance the overall effectiveness of your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Discourage
  • Incentivize
  • Alternative energy
  • Public transportation
  • Lower-income
  • Carpool
  • Ride-sharing
  • Congestion
  • Urban planning
  • Pedestrian-friendly
  • Tax incentives
  • Electric and hybrid vehicles
  • Emissions standards
  • Cleaner vehicles
  • Congestion charges
  • Bicycle lanes
  • Sustainable
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