Some people believe that longer prison sentences are the best way to decrease crime while others believe that there are alternatives ways to decrease crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The discussion of adapting long
jail
time
for a crime-free society is surely
one
that begs the question of how truly effective it is. Some people claim that
such
a practice should be entertained as it keeps
criminal
Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
show examples
inside the wall and gives them a lesson for life to correct. In my opinion,
due to
the presence of
rehabiltation
Correct your spelling
rehabilitation
centres
and other social activities, it is plausible to assert that options over
jail
to eradicate bad ailments of society will be the most
apropos
Correct word choice
appropriate
show examples
choice.
One
clear fact is that longer
jail
time
forbids the convicted folk to stay outside . Given that negatively motivated people, reprehensible for crime, being forced to stay inside for longer duration, it would aid in curbing the crimes outside. Take
for instance
Nevada, the only
city
to allow longer
jail
time
for minor crimes , which is known to be the safest
city
among others in the world.
Overall
, if analyzed properly, it is not a far-fetched conclusion to say that
such
a precaution is the only resort to a crime-free
city
.
Nevertheless
, it is often argued that there are other factors which influence safety inside the
city
.
This
can be well delineated if we refer to any rehabilitation
centres
. To illustrate
further
, these
centres
have a plethora of propitious exercises which have the potential energy to any negative thought anyone has
For example
, Performance testing is
one
of the best examples to delineate
this
.
Therefore
, given
such
an influential outcome on
one
personality, rehabilitation
centre
Fix the agreement mistake
centres
show examples
ought to be more in the limelight.
Overall
, I still opine that big
jail
time
is not completely reprehensible. Another reason stems from the fact that convicts generally get a lesson to learn during their
jail
time
which helps them to differentiate between good and bad.
Nonetheless
, provided that there are social activities practised in the prison, bad people usually get a way to correct their own mistakes and start a new life.
To conclude
, both sides present a strong paradox.
However
, there is no argument for the opinion that a solution like rehabilitation
centres
and self-learning
process
Fix the agreement mistake
processes
show examples
could expediently make a person good.
Submitted by suresh.sssingh.singh984 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction & Conclusion
Your essay lacks clarity in establishing a clear introduction and a definitive conclusion. It is important to distinctly state the topic and your stance at the beginning and provide a summary of your discussion with a reaffirmation of your position at the end to effectively round off your argument.
Logical Structure
You need to work on creating a more logical and structured flow to your essay. This can be done by clearly stating your main points, organizing them into well-defined paragraphs, and using appropriate transition words to guide the reader through your argument.
Supported Main Points
The main points you present are somewhat supported, but the essay would benefit from more in-depth elaboration and stronger examples to substantiate your arguments. This could also enhance the persuasive power of your essay.
Complete Response
Your essay demonstrates some understanding of the task, but a more complete response is needed. Address all parts of the task prompt, ensuring that your opinion is prominent and that you discuss both views equally to meet the requirements of the question.
Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
The ideas in the essay are fairly clear and comprehensive but could be further developed. Aim to expand on your ideas with more detailed explanations and clearer articulations to fully convey your points to the reader.
Relevant & Specific Examples
While you include examples, they need to be more relevant and specific to effectively illustrate your points. Ensure that your examples are directly related to the arguments you are making and that they enhance the reader's understanding of your position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Deterrence
  • Recidivism
  • Rehabilitation
  • Restorative justice
  • Community policing
  • Economic development
  • Reintegration
  • Punitive measures
  • Inhumane conditions
  • Overcrowding
  • Social services
  • Tailored approaches
  • Public sentiment
  • Root causes
  • Taxpayer burden
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!