IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Goverments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#goverments #money #railways #roads
In current time, many various views about means of
tranportaions
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transportation
transportations
 can clearly
seen
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be seen
show examples
. One of
this argument
Fix the agreement mistake
these arguments
show examples
 is that states ought to invest in rail lines
instead
 of roads.
This
 idea has many supporters who have different rationales. I am
a
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apply
show examples
one of them. In the following parts, I will try to explain
by
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apply
show examples
my reasons why I totally
agree
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agree on
agree to
agree with
show examples
this
 opinion.
To begin
 with, The
world
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world's
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 change and technology maintain
it's
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its
show examples
 innovation
as well as
 secure, beneficial and luxurious vehicles
have
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that have
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 been
establihed
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established
 for years. Tracks and roads have similar features. The common view is that they are old and widely used options for
a
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apply
show examples
comfortable
journys
Correct your spelling
journeys
journey
. To my mind, trains,
underground
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and underground
show examples
 systems are more useful than buses and trucks
due to
large
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the large
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of
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apply
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transit capacity.
Subsequently
 , the rail line system seems to
has
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have
show examples
 shown
a ecomentalist
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an economic effect
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 since it does not profit
by
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from
show examples
 fuel oil,
diesel
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or diesel
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 oil. Many years ago trains
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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utulized
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utilised
 charcoals so as to cargo. Those days
a
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apply
show examples
carbon had transformed
to
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into
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 air much dirty. Nowadays
electric
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electricity
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 is a key provision for railways so it is not
matter
Verb problem
apply
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a problem for
sky
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Sky
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 anymore. On the condition that we analyze some lands which are metropolis we noticed that air pollution is one of the biggest
issue
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issues
show examples
 because people who live those areas have many cars, buses and cranes ,
as a
result
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result,
show examples
 experts recommend that metros , trains, trams must dominate public
transportion
Correct your spelling
transportation
transport
. It is fresh air and
sufficent
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sufficient
 habitat will make
this
 life healthier. In conclusion, It is
fact
Correct article usage
a fact
show examples
 that
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
 must use their budget on rail lines for
a
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an
show examples
 efficacious cycle which
include
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includes
show examples
 humans and nature.
Submitted by ezgi.maide.213 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear and logical structure. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea, and this idea should be developed coherently. Transition between ideas smoothly to guide the reader through your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure the introduction and conclusion are clearly present and distinct from each other. The introduction should clearly state your position and outline what the essay will discuss, whereas the conclusion should summarise your arguments without introducing new ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
Develop your main points with clear explanations and relevant examples. Avoid making generalized statements without backing them up with specific details or evidence.
Task Achievement
Fully address all parts of the task by providing a complete response to the question. Clearly state your opinion on the given topic, and ensure that each paragraph contributes to developing that opinion.
Task Achievement
Present clear and comprehensive ideas that show a deep understanding of the topic. Avoid vague statements, and instead offer well-thought-out points and thorough reasoning.
Task Achievement
Use relevant and specific examples to support your points. These examples should directly relate to the topic and should be used effectively to reinforce your arguments.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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