Some children receive almost no encouragement from their parents regarding their performance at school, while other children receive too much pressure from their over enthusiastic parents which can have a negative impact on the child. Why do you think some parents put too much pressure on their children to perform well at school? What do you think the role of a parent should be in their child’s education?

There is an ongoing debate regarding the attitudes of
parents
when it comes to the performance of their
children
at school.
While
some of them do not appreciate the offspring for their achievements, others force students to gain good academic scores. The reason why
parents
are pressuring their young ones can be attributed to various factors.
This
essay will examine the cause of
this
practice and the parental role in terms of supporting their kids in
education
, with relevant examples.
To begin
with,
parents
hold the primary responsibility for the upbringing of their
children
by providing fundamental knowledge,shaping values, and exhibiting disciplined
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
Therefore
, they are very cautious that their offspring should not be influenced by bad relationships, which may divert them from achieving academic excellence.
In addition
, performing well at school
aid
Correct subject-verb agreement
aids
show examples
students to secure a bright future through learning appropriate skills and gaining valuable insights from
education
.
For example
, it is evident that the younger generation can be easily persuaded by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
possibly toxic relationships, which can lead to poor academic performance.
Furthermore
, when it comes to
education
,
parents
should be supportive and motivate their young ones to achieve great success.
That is
to say that they should help them learn difficult concepts and techniques and give their kid a helping hand.
Moreover
, they should motivate them to create a sense of competition, because constructive competition is always better for
children
to unleash their full potential.
For instance
, it is not uncommon that successful teenagers always dedicate their achievements to their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
because of their unwavering support of their goals and dreams. In conclusion,
parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
show examples
attitudes towards their
children
's
education
may vary depending on the parent-child bond;
however
, there is a strong reason why
parents
put pressure on their offspring: they want their kids to achieve success, and at the same time, they should support them with love and motivation.
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task achievement
A complete response to the task requires you to fully address both questions posed. You have made an attempt to discuss the reasons why parents might pressure children, but this could be further elaborated. Additionally, the second part of the task, discussing what role parents should play in their child's education, is only touched upon briefly. Provide a more balanced treatment of both questions to enhance your task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
While your essay shows a clear overall structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, transitions between ideas could be improved for better coherence. Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link your ideas within and across paragraphs more effectively. This can include contrasting phrases, or connectors that demonstrate causality or consequence, enhancing the flow of your argument.

Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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