Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your opinion
there is no doubt that these days most
people
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healthy.Replace the word
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However
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agree though in Correct your spelling
staunchly
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ill-fourfded
as the fact might be the opposite . In the following line,both Correct your spelling
ill-founded
side
of the argument will be Change to a plural noun
sides
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reviewed Correct your spelling
detailedly
along with
my own prerspective
. Correct your spelling
perspective
To begin
with , nowdays
, There is a Correct the word
nowadays
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of Correct your spelling
plenty
way
to Fix the agreement mistake
ways
upsillking
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upselling
the
general Correct article usage
apply
heath
one of the most significant means is doing Correct your spelling
health
asport
. To illustrate , Correct your spelling
sport
a sport
according to
serval prephoshinal
doctor, Correct your spelling
prehospital
these
Correct determiner usage
this
way
is the suit way
to rasie
your general Correct your spelling
raise
helth
Correct your spelling
health
for example
, if you walk 30 min every day this
will stimulation your Blood circulation. Moreover
,From my point of view . The sport or exercie
is Correct your spelling
exercise
the
Correct article usage
a
quik
Correct your spelling
quick
way
to lose the
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apply
wight
or win Correct your spelling
weight
wight
.To Correct your spelling
weight
domnstrate
, some Correct your spelling
demonstrate
people
go to gym
to make Add an article
the gym
a gym
thrir
body more healthy .from a counteractive point of view , Some Correct your spelling
their
people
belive
thereCorrect your spelling
believe
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is a
a
easy Change the article
an
way
or way
to improve a pupuilc
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patient's
heath
by decreasing eating food or Correct your spelling
health
to be
vegaterinas . To domnstrallet , Change the verb form
being
nowdays
there are Correct the word
nowadays
aplanty
of Correct your spelling
plenty
aplenty
people
in differnt
Correct your spelling
different
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
eat
Wrong verb form
eating
vegatables
only to be healthy . Correct your spelling
vegetables
furthermore
, there are some medicine
or Fix the agreement mistake
medicines
fetamine
Correct your spelling
ketamine
famine
took
to Wrong verb form
taken
upskilling
their health for
example : some Wrong verb form
upskill
people
don’t eat fish so tookalternative
Correct your spelling
took alternative
such
Change preposition
as omega3
omega3
.To recapitulate, it is generally acknowledged thatCorrect your spelling
omega-3
the
Correct article usage
apply
sport
to improve Fix the agreement mistake
sports
the
public health has positive and negative Correct article usage
apply
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
Nonetheless
,from my perspective their favabrale
effect out Correct your spelling
favourable
wiught
the unfavorable one since they will be the best Correct your spelling
weight
way
to Correct your spelling
raise
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the
general health for humanCorrect your spelling
raise
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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear structure, with an identifiable introduction, body, and conclusion. I recommend organizing your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a single main idea.
coherence cohesion
There are numerous grammatical and spelling errors throughout your essay, which impact its readability and coherence. Please pay careful attention to proofreading your work to correct these issues.
task achievement
The ideas in your essay are not always clearly expressed or supported by relevant examples. Make sure each paragraph has a clear point and is supported by specific details or evidence.
task achievement
You have not fully addressed the task of discussing both views and giving your own opinion. Ensure you equally cover both sides of the argument and clearly express your personal viewpoint in response to the question.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.