Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

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there is no doubt that these days most
people
behave to be
fitenceand
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fit and
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healthy.
However
, I
stanchy
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staunchly
stenchy
agree though in
ill-fourfded
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ill-founded
as the fact might be the opposite . In the following line,both
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
show examples
of the argument will be
detailealty
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detailedly
reviewed
along with
my own
prerspective
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perspective
.
To begin
with ,
nowdays
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nowadays
show examples
, There is a
planty
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plenty
of
way
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ways
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to
upsillking
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upselling
the
Correct article usage
apply
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general
heath
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health
show examples
one of the most significant means is doing
asport
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sport
a sport
. To illustrate ,
according to
serval
prephoshinal
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prehospital
doctor,
these
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this
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way
is the suit
way
to
rasie
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raise
your general
helth
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health
for example
, if you walk 30 min every day
this
will stimulation your Blood circulation.
Moreover
,From my point of view . The sport or
exercie
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exercise
is
the
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a
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quik
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quick
way
to lose
the
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apply
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wight
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weight
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or win
wight
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weight
show examples
.To
domnstrate
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demonstrate
, some
people
go to
gym
Add an article
the gym
a gym
show examples
to make
thrir
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their
body more healthy .from a counteractive point of view , Some
people
belive
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believe
show examples
there
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is a
show examples
a
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an
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easy
way
or
way
to improve a
pupuilc
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patient's
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heath
Correct your spelling
health
show examples
by decreasing eating food or
to be
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being
show examples
vegaterinas . To domnstrallet ,
nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
there are
aplanty
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plenty
aplenty
of
people
in
differnt
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different
country
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countries
show examples
eat
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eating
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vegatables
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vegetables
only to be healthy .
furthermore
, there are some
medicine
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medicines
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or
fetamine
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ketamine
famine
took
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taken
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to
upskilling
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upskill
show examples
their health for example : some
people
don’t eat fish so
tookalternative
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took alternative
such
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as omega3
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omega3
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omega-3
.To recapitulate, it is generally acknowledged that
the
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apply
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sport
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sports
show examples
to improve
the
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apply
show examples
public health has positive and negative
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
show examples
Nonetheless
,from my perspective their
favabrale
Correct your spelling
favourable
effect out
wiught
Correct your spelling
weight
the unfavorable one since they will be the best
way
to
Correct your spelling
raise
rasie
Correct your spelling
raise
the general health for human
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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear structure, with an identifiable introduction, body, and conclusion. I recommend organizing your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a single main idea.
coherence cohesion
There are numerous grammatical and spelling errors throughout your essay, which impact its readability and coherence. Please pay careful attention to proofreading your work to correct these issues.
task achievement
The ideas in your essay are not always clearly expressed or supported by relevant examples. Make sure each paragraph has a clear point and is supported by specific details or evidence.
task achievement
You have not fully addressed the task of discussing both views and giving your own opinion. Ensure you equally cover both sides of the argument and clearly express your personal viewpoint in response to the question.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • obesity
  • inclusivity
  • participation
  • safe environment
  • social interaction
  • community engagement
  • comprehensive approach
  • health education programs
  • environmental factors
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • quality healthcare services
  • public health initiatives
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