Stress is the major problem in many countries around the world .What are some factors in modern society that cause stress and how we can reduce it.
Being nervous
for
several Change preposition
about
situation
is now an issue of increasing concern around the world , becoming one of the leading causes of Change to a plural noun
situations
a
poor health .Remove the article
apply
While
there are a
clear reasons for Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
this
global issue .I believe that government and individuals can take a
proper measures to address, or at least mitigate it.
A fundamental Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
readon
for Correct your spelling
reason
stess
is Correct your spelling
stress
physicall
tiring on account of long hours Correct your spelling
physically
physical
exercise
.Change preposition
of exercise
This
is because in order to earn more money and priority in
Change preposition
on
financial
side Correct article usage
the financial
people
had to labour exceedingly.This
,in turn , people
cannot set boundaries between work and personal life .Another factor contributing to this
issue has to do with lack
of social support.As individuals sometimes feel themselves Correct article usage
the lack
unlucky
or unattractive Change preposition
as unlucky
than
Correct word choice
apply
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
lost
their normal temper.Wrong verb form
lose
Although
this
kind of matter causes having
Unnecessary verb
apply
a
stress one of the most serious consequences has been Correct article usage
apply
increase
of getting pressure.
Add an article
an increase
However
,there are several ways in which can
preclude Correct pronoun usage
one can
a stressful occasions
.Correct the article-noun agreement
stressful occasions
a stressful occasion
First,
governments should organize sanatorium
widely and employees impose time management Fix the agreement mistake
sanatoriums
in
work hours.Given that sanatorium and time management help not only relaxation but Change preposition
during
also
getting meditation for well being
.Another way to combat strain is sharing their experiences which Add a hyphen
well-being
triggered
Wrong verb form
triggers
to
stress with other Fix the infinitive
apply
people
like a knowledgeable someone or parents and intimates .Since they say encouraging compliment
Fix the agreement mistake
compliments
as well as
giving uplift for self -esteem
.The sooner we apply these solutions in Correct your spelling
self-esteem
practise
, the fewer Replace the word
practice
people
feel themselves
stressed .
In conclusion, though becoming nervous rate has recently soared , its several causes ,including Remove the pronoun
apply
financisl
stress or low self-assurance , can be tackled through the government Correct your spelling
financial
intensfing
calming environments Correct your spelling
intensifying
intensified
,
and socializing with Remove the comma
apply
people
.Submitted by toychiyevamahfuza on
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coherence cohesion
Develop logical paragraphing to enhance coherency of ideas. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, which can be introduced with a clear topic sentence. Ensure that subsequent sentences within each paragraph provide supporting details and examples related to the main idea.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to demonstrate logical connections between ideas and paragraphs. Although some connections are made, stronger and more varied cohesive devices could better guide the reader through the argument.
coherence cohesion
Introduce the essay with a clearer background statement and thesis that outlines the topics of discussion. While the introduction and conclusion are present, they need to be more distinct to effectively frame the essay.
task achievement
Make sure to fully respond to all parts of the task. While the essay attempts to address both causes of stress and methods for reducing it, some of the causes and suggestions are superficial and not fully developed.
task achievement
Clarify ideas and ensure they are comprehensive. Several ideas presented are difficult to follow due to unclear expression or sentence construction. Each point needs to be clearly stated and elaborated on for the reader's understanding.
task achievement
Provide relevant, specific examples to support the arguments made. The essay lacks concrete examples and resorts to general statements. Specific examples help illustrate and reinforce points made, aiding in a more persuasive argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.