IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries.

#professionals #doctors #teachers #countries #work
Currently,
raising
Verb problem
the number of
show examples
 professionals
number work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 in developed countries because they are living
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
 own poorer countries.
This
 essay will examine some of these problems in detail, and
then
purpose
Verb problem
propose
show examples
 some
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
. One of the biggest problems facing developing countries is few professionals because they get only
little
Correct word choice
small
show examples
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
. It is not enough to live in
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
 city
nor
Correct word choice
or
show examples
 in
rural
Add an article
a rural
the rural
show examples
 area. Take
teacher
Correct article usage
the teacher
show examples
 as an example. Teacher, especially in Indonesia, who works in
rural
Add an article
the rural
show examples
 area get
salary
Add an article
a salary
show examples
 which is not enough for
daily
Correct pronoun usage
their daily
show examples
 needs. To solve
this
 problem, the government should increase their
salary
 and prosperity. Another issue is the country will not develop well. It
because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the bad infrastructure, especially in rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 makes them prefer to move to developed
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
.
This
 cause the human resource will have no
progres
Correct your spelling
progress
.
This
 problem could
be address
Change the verb form
be addressed
show examples
 by
improve
Change the verb form
improving
show examples
 the infrastructure and
encourage
Wrong verb form
encouraging
show examples
 them to have nationalism.
To sum
up
Add a comma
up,
show examples
 the arguments mentioned above, few professionals can be solved by
rise
Verb problem
raising
show examples
 their
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
, and the country
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
 not develop well can be solved by
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
show examples
 infrastructure and
encourage
Wrong verb form
encouraging
show examples
 them to have nationalism.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
It is imperative to ensure the logical flow of ideas and maintain a clear progression throughout the essay. The introduction paragraph should clearly state the topic and your essay's primary aim, followed by body paragraphs that explore each point in depth, concluding with a conclusion that summarizes your arguments. Transitions between these sections and within paragraphs are essential to help the reader follow your argument.
task achievement
Task Achievement requires that you respond completely to the essay prompt. Make sure each part of the prompt is answered thoroughly, and that your essay stays focused on the topic. Clear and comprehensive ideas are vital, and when providing examples, they must be relevant and specific to the point being made. Your response should reflect a full understanding of the issue, with a balance between discussing problems and proposing realistic solutions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: