IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

the bar diagram shows Expenditure of two countries france and uk on consumers goods in 2010.

the bar diagram shows Expenditure of two countries france and uk on consumers goods in 2010.
#bar #expenditure #two #countries #france #uk #consumers #goods
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The chart shows the expenditure of two countries on
consumers
Change the noun form
consumer
show examples
 goods in 2010. The unit of measurement is
Pound
Use synonyms
 sterling .
Overall
Linking Words
, both the countries spend huge
Use synonyms
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of
money
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 cars
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
france
Change the capitalization
France
show examples
 and
Correct article usage
the united
show examples
united
Correct your spelling
United Kingdom
show examples
kingdom
Use synonyms
 spend
low
Add an article
the low
a low
show examples
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
cameras
Use synonyms
 and perfume respectively . As
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can be seen
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, United
Kingdoms
Fix the agreement mistake
Kingdom
show examples
 spend the
higest
Correct your spelling
highest
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 i.e 45000
Pound
Use synonyms
 sterling
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 cars
whereas
Linking Words
 ,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
cars
Add a comma
cars,
show examples
Use synonyms
france
Change the capitalization
France
show examples
 spend only 40000
pound
Use synonyms
 sterling . Almost 37000
Pound
Use synonyms
 sterling was
spend
Change the form of the verb
spent
show examples
 on computers by
Use synonyms
france
Change the capitalization
France
show examples
whereas
Linking Words
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
Use synonyms
kingdom
Capitalize word
Kingdom
show examples
spends
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
35000
Add a hyphen
35000-pound
show examples
pound
Use synonyms
 sterling .
In addition
Linking Words
 ,
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
Use synonyms
kingdom
Capitalize word
Kingdom
show examples
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
higest
Correct your spelling
highest
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 books i.e 40000
pound
Use synonyms
 sterling
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
france
Change the capitalization
France
show examples
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
ony
Correct your spelling
only
 30000
pound
Use synonyms
 sterling .
Secondly
Linking Words
, the lowest
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
spend
Change the form of the verb
spent
show examples
 by both countries
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 perfume and
cameras
Use synonyms
 . United
kingdoms
Fix the agreement mistake
Kingdom
show examples
 spend less than 15000
pound
Use synonyms
 sterling
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 perfume
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
france
Change the capitalization
France
show examples
 spends 20000
pound
Use synonyms
 sterling .
France
Use synonyms
 spends
its
Change the word
a
show examples
 lower
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
cameras
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 for
cameras
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the united
show examples
united
Correct your spelling
United Kingdom
show examples
kingdom
Use synonyms
 spend more than 30000
pound
Use synonyms
 sterling.
Submitted by keshabpaudel.dge.nbpi on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words pound, amount, money, france, kingdom, cameras with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 6 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Expenditure
  • Consumer goods
  • Comparison
  • Significant differences
  • Categories
  • Analyze
  • Notable findings
  • Economic factors
  • Cultural preferences
  • Population size
  • Consumer behavior
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