Some people think that keeping pet is good for children while other think it is dangerous and unhalthy.which opinion do you agree or disagree

#people #pet #children #unhalthy

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These

wordly

Correct your spelling

worldly

thought

Change the determiner

thoughts

show examples

are

besed

Correct your spelling

based

on sufficient

experances

Correct your spelling

experience

experiences

.Some

people

point out keeping pet animals unhealthy for young children

however

I strongly

Correct your spelling

believe

bileve

Correct your spelling

believe

that,

pets

are not very dangerous It is

irritafable

Correct your spelling

irritable

that nowadays

people

flooded

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are flooded

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with information about everything.

Pets

can be dangerous to young children, but

pets

are loving and friendly.

Furthermore

pets

are good and harmless compared to wild animals.In fact,in Italy, many

people

live with

pets

such

as cats, dogs,rabbits and other

pets

.Notably, 60

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

of the population of Ilatia

love

Correct subject-verb agreement

loves

show examples

pets

because it is not dangerous it is friendly.Even today, there are many scientists who keep

pets

On the other hand

,I saw a news on TV 1 year ago.

For instance

,the house was on fire and there was a little boy inside the house who was saved by a pet dog.the dog

saved

Add a missing verb

is saved

show examples

from danger

in addition

it is not

dangerous

Add an article

a dangerous

show examples

animal.

Furthermore

pets

can be used in different ways. In conclusion, Some

people

that

pets

are dangerous, but

this

is an unfounded opinion.In my

opinion

Add a comma

opinion,

show examples

pets

are not dangerous if it is loved and cared for by us.

Submitted by qoqonovacharos on Thu Dec 14 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay does not follow a logical structure. Sentences are often disconnected and there are frequent grammatical errors that may confuse the reader. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and the supporting sentences are directly related to it. Use linking words to connect ideas and ensure the essay flows smoothly from one point to the next.

task achievement

The response does not fully address all parts of the task. The question calls for a discussion of whether pets are good or bad for children, and a personal opinion. While you have provided an opinion, it needs to be clearer, more developed, and better supported with specific examples. There is also a lack of balance in the argument, as you do not explore why some people believe pets are unhealthy or dangerous. To improve, make sure to address all parts of the prompt, expand on your ideas, and provide specific examples to support your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

177 words

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sport is one of the most draws on television today. Some people argue that the practice of showing sport on television is to blame for the poor health of the young generation by encouraging them to watch rather than partake in physical activity. To what extent do you agree wit this view?

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