IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The best way to understand other cultures is to work for a multinational organisation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#cultures #work #organisation
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It is believed that working in an international organisation is one of the best ways of becoming aware of different
cultures
 worldwide. I partially agree with
this
 point of view. On the one hand, working for an international organization enhances the understanding of other
cultures
. The first reason is that multinational organizations consist of people
all
Change preposition
from all
show examples
 around the world, and they can learn about the customs and
tradions
Correct your spelling
traditions
 of different countries once working in a mixed-culture environment. Learning other languages can
also
 provide a deeper understanding of different
cultures
. Other various effective ways to understand different
cultures
,
such
 as studying or
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 abroad. These methods offer opportunities to interact and spend time with people from other countries, ultimately fostering a better understanding of diverse
cultures
.
However
, there are some drawbacks
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 why it is not the best way to understand other
cultures
. There was not a clear connection between working for multinational companies and promoting cultural understanding. Experiencing different
cultures
 relies on various aspects like social skills, job status, and language abilities, which greatly affect people's opportunities to regularly interact with other
cultures
.
To sum up
, even though working at an international organization improves cultural awareness, I believe that it is not essential to assume that the best way is to work for a multinational organisation.
Submitted by ngphlinh1411 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
To improve in the logical structure, ensure your essay has a clear progression of ideas, with appropriate sequencing and the use of discourse markers. Paragraphs should be well-organized, each with a clear central idea that is elaborated upon with supporting details.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they need to be more impactful. Make sure your introduction clearly outlines the points that you will discuss, while the conclusion should effectively summarize the main arguments and present a final, clear stance on the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay presented some main points but they were not always well-supported. Strengthen your essay by providing clear examples and evidence that directly support your arguments. This will make your position more persuasive and your ideas more convincing.
Task Achievement
You provided a complete response to the task, but to increase your score, ensure that your answer fully addresses all parts of the prompt. Make sure to clearly state your position and extend your ideas by examining the implications or reasoning behind your opinion.
Task Achievement
While you've included some clear ideas, they could be more comprehensive. Work on developing each idea thoroughly, exploring different perspectives and adding depth to your analysis. Elaborate on your points with detailed information to convey a deeper understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Your essay lacked specific examples to illustrate your points. Use particular instances, case studies, or personal experiences to substantiate your arguments. This will not only make your essay more relatable but also strengthens your position by demonstrating real-world applications of your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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