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Band 4

The best way to understand other cultures is to work for a multinational organisation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#cultures #work #organisation
It is believed that working in an international organisation is one of the best ways of becoming aware of different
cultures
 worldwide. I partially agree with
this
 point of view. On the one hand, working for an international organization enhances the understanding of other
cultures
. The first reason is that multinational organizations consist of people
all
Change preposition
from all
show examples
 around the world, and they can learn about the customs and
tradions
Correct your spelling
traditions
 of different countries once working in a mixed-culture environment. Learning other languages can
also
 provide a deeper understanding of different
cultures
. Other various effective ways to understand different
cultures
,
such
 as studying or
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 abroad. These methods offer opportunities to interact and spend time with people from other countries, ultimately fostering a better understanding of diverse
cultures
.
However
, there are some drawbacks
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 why it is not the best way to understand other
cultures
. There was not a clear connection between working for multinational companies and promoting cultural understanding. Experiencing different
cultures
 relies on various aspects like social skills, job status, and language abilities, which greatly affect people's opportunities to regularly interact with other
cultures
.
To sum up
, even though working at an international organization improves cultural awareness, I believe that it is not essential to assume that the best way is to work for a multinational organisation.
Submitted by ngphlinh1411 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay presented some main points but they were not always well-supported. Strengthen your essay by providing clear examples and evidence that directly support your arguments. This will make your position more persuasive and your ideas more convincing.
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Task Achievement
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Task Achievement
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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