IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Students nowadays can get large quantities of information from mobile phone. Despite this, many people think that they should not be allowed to use them in the classroom. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#students #quantities #information #phone #people #classroom
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This
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 is a true fact to
considers
Wrong verb form
consider
show examples
 that in the present
days
Add a comma
days,
show examples
 mobile
phone
Use synonyms
 has become a vital part of our life and
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
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 of the
people
Use synonyms
 in the world are using it. There are
these
Correct pronoun usage
those
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 who say
that
Correct word choice
apply
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banning the
use
Use synonyms
 of mobile phones for teens in
school
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,
Add a missing verb
is, however
show examples
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
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other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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 believe that it should. In
this
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essay
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essay,
show examples
 I will examine both
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
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 of the argument. and provide my
overall
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 opinion. Generally speaking, There are a
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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 of reasons why
people
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 believe that mobile
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phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 should be banned in
school
Use synonyms
permises
Correct your spelling
premises
, like distraction, bullying and negative
use
Use synonyms
 of the
phone
Use synonyms
 . Perhaps the main reason why
people
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 are in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of
this
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 idea is
because
Replace the word
that
show examples
smart phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
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 are the
distuneling
Correct your spelling
disturbing
 for a student's mind.
For example
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, a student will develop a habit of playing games or listening to music
while
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 the teacher is giving a lecture on notes in class .
This
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 will cause
Correct article usage
a repid
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repid
Correct your spelling
rapid
 decrease in their interest
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 study and they will gradually start
lossing
Correct your spelling
losing
 their marks and rank . A
further
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 point
favor
Change preposition
in favor
show examples
 of banning the
use
Use synonyms
 of mobile
Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 in
school
Use synonyms
 is that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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outdoor activities decrease as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
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 stick to mobile.
This
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 is
beause
Correct your spelling
because
 they are too hard to resist for a student. Despite these arguments, there is
also
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 a cause for the idea that mobile
Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 should be allowed in
school
Use synonyms
,
such
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 as in case of emergency, to research information. Perhaps the main reason why
people
Use synonyms
 think that
this
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 is a good idea is because mobile phones provide an abundance of useful
application
Fix the agreement mistake
applications
show examples
.
As a
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result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 they could read those books without any problem and
using
Wrong verb form
use
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dictonary
Correct your spelling
dictionary
 without asking
other classroom
Change the wording
another classroom
other classrooms
show examples
.
Hence
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,
this
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 may make all the lessons more comfortable and silent. In conclusion, the
use
Use synonyms
 of mobile
Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 in
school
Use synonyms
 is a topic which is very relevant
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
moderen
Correct your spelling
modern
 society . Despite arguments to the contrary, I very
strogly
Correct your spelling
strongly
 feel that we should ban the
use
Use synonyms
 of mobile
Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 for teenagers in
school
Use synonyms
, the benefits of it
outwrigh
Correct your spelling
outweigh
outweighs
 the negative effect.
Submitted by Faria Jannatul on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and that the essay contains a clear opinion or thesis statement.
logical structure
Work on creating more logical transitions and signpost phrases to guide the reader through the arguments.
supported main points
Use a variety of cohesive devices effectively and avoid overusing certain words or phrases.
complete response
Fully develop all parts of the task by extending and supporting your main points with specific examples and clear reasoning.
clear comprehensive ideas
Aim to present ideas clearly and comprehensively, ensuring each paragraph has a clear central idea.
relevant specific examples
Provide relevant examples to support your arguments and make the essay more persuasive and concrete.
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