IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some companies make donations to local charities and community groups. Other companies do not and leave it up to their staff to decide whether to make personal donations. Should companies donate part of their profits to charities? State your opinion and provide reasons for your view.

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No one can deny that donating to local charities and community groups includes
company
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 and individual obligations in society. One effective way for businesses to support a charity is to raise funds through the sales of products.
Then
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 the
company
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 will spread the message to each individual for
further
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 donors with more significant amounts of funding. On the one hand, to improve a
company
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's long-term business prospects,
donations
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 should be given in the name of the
company
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, meaning that a
company
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 ought to donate part of its profits to charities. Not only can the
company
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 recreate humanistic values for life but
also
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 be able to forge closer bonds with its clients and possibly even win over new ones. In fact, consumers are more likely to purchase goods or services from a
company
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 that makes philanthropic
donations
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. The
company
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 should participate in charity and community activities. Every year, a reserve should be extracted from
company
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 profits to organize and support charitable organizations.
On the other hand
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, when receiving a participation initiative from the
company
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, employees need to unanimously and enthusiastically participate in the activities.
However
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, donating money from individuals is encouraged, and not required. When you donate with the tolls that make you feel comfortable, you will always get the satisfaction of knowing that you did a good deed.
In other words
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, you feel no pressure. Plus, some constructive discussions among staff before giving
donations
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 can be good activities through which they can glue together at their place of employment. A perfectly good example is the charitable event occurring
last
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 Sunday when my
company
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 combined with the non-governmental organization on smile surgery to organize a race for more than 2,000 people to raise funds for children at Sala. Exceeding expectations, we brought in money equivalent to 50 surgeries for 50 babies. It's something to be proud of and meaningful and should be carried out on a regular basis. To paraphrase, our staff members will be pleased to be a part of a group
that is
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 truly improving the lives of those in need, and
as a result
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, they are more likely to have a positive impression of the business. In short, in the world of business,
donations
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 to the community come from the social responsibility of every person within organizations, depending on the economic situation of each individual. Because in life, giving and receiving is an inevitable rule.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly addresses the question, providing a clear thesis statement that outlines your position.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices appropriately to logically connect ideas throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Present main ideas clearly and develop them with specific, relevant details and examples.
task achievement
Clearly articulate your views and directly answer the essay question within the introduction and conclusion, ensuring a full and relevant response to the task.
task achievement
Expand on your main points by providing clear and detailed explanations, reasons, and examples that directly relate to the question posed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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