Financial education should be a mandatory component of the school program.to what extent do you agree or disagree?
In general,
money
is
playing pivotal role in the human lifestyle .what the reason behind Verb problem
plays
to
Change preposition
apply
this
is, without
Correct word choice
that without
money
, people cannot buy anything in their daily routine. that is
why, financial management is must
in Correct article usage
a must
schools
' curriculum. From my perspective, I strongly believe in how to maintain the savings and how they need to do it. thus
, school is a place to teach that. To commence, schools
are the greatest
place to Correct word choice
best
teaching
various subjects Wrong verb form
teach
such
as technology, medicine and space research.this
is the reason, Capitalize word
This
schools
should be the best environmental
for studying a financial course Replace the word
environment
also
.Moreover
, enormous schools
are introducing to implement the money
saving system.because,
Remove the comma
apply
students
should aware
Add a missing verb
be aware
about
saving benefits. Change preposition
of
This
money saving
scheme Add a hyphen
money-saving
are
suitable for Change the verb form
is
students
. there is no limitation of
savings.by the end of the day, Change preposition
on
students
are collecting their savings.which leads to further
higher studies or helpful
for their startup business. Add a missing verb
is helpful
Additionally
, many parents are allowing their children to buy what they want without any limitations.so, they are unaware about
the value of Change preposition
of
money
.which roots
to detrimental effect on Verb problem
has
the
Correct article usage
apply
children
behaviour.Change noun form
children's
in
order to do some illegal activities Capitalize word
In
likes
playing online Replace the word
like
game
of rummy circle, Fix the agreement mistake
games
pubg
.these type of activities entirely Correct word choice
and pubg
spoiled
their life.Wrong verb form
spoil
that
is the reason Capitalize word
That
financial
course is Add an article
the financial
a financial
compulsory
part Add an article
a compulsory
in
the school syllabus. Change preposition
of
To conclude
, schools
are
Verb problem
play
major
role Correct article usage
a major
to
playing pupils Change preposition
in
life style
.which motivates Correct your spelling
lifestyle
to
a lot of engineers, Change preposition
apply
scientist
, doctors and moral Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
students
.there fore
, I certainly believe that financial subject is Correct your spelling
therefore
compelling
part of school programs.Add an article
a compelling
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coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your essay into clear paragraphs with distinct purposes, such as introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a topic sentence and develop a single idea. Use transition words to link ideas and paragraphs in a logical manner.
task achievement
Be sure to fully address the essay question. Develop your response comprehensively with a clear position throughout the essay, and ensure that you present an argument rather than disjointed ideas.
coherence cohesion
To improve cohesion, use a variety of linking devices appropriately, such as conjunctions, cohesive devices, and synonyms, to ensure a smooth flow of ideas.
task achievement
Task response can be improved by providing specific, relevant examples that support your main points. Avoid general statements and make your ideas concrete with illustrations and evidence where possible.
coherence cohesion
Pay close attention to grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure, as errors in these areas can detract from the clarity of your argument and reduce the overall coherence of your essay.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.