IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

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Introduction
It is believed by a few
people
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 that the
government
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 should spend
money
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 on
railways
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 as compared to
roads
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,
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apply
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 because there are lots of reasons why
railways
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 are better than
roads
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.
This
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 essay will express complete disagreement with
this
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 view and justify
this
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 point of view.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
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 with, even though the
government
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 should spend
money
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 on both
railways
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 and
roads
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,
primarily
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apply
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railways
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 are a good way to import goods and export them to many states and fast rather than
roads
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. To explain, whenever the
government
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 spends
money
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 on
railways
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, railway sectors develop, and many things could be imported and exported to other states.
Secondly
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, despite the fact that
railways
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 have no traffic and are full of big and clean lines,
for example
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, a
surgery
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survey
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 conducted by the Indian Express news agency in 2019 found that around 70% of
money
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 was spent on
railways
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 in India.
Thus
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, I think the railway is a very frequent mode of transportation.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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,
although
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 it seems reasonable to suggest that
roads
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 are mostly used by
people
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, to elaborate on it, nowadays,
mostly
Correct your spelling
most
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 individuals
use
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roads
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 for their own work near home to shop and for many different kinds
, which
Change preposition
of, which
show examples
 is very necessary.
Secondly
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, many
people
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 have cars, motorcycles, and other vehicles that are reasons to
use
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roads
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,
along with
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 individuals being more comfortable in their own vehicles when the
government
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 spends more
money
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 on
roads
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.
For instance
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, in Nepal,
people
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 mostly
use
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roads
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 as compared to
railways
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, and the
government
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also
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 spends a lot of
money
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 on
roads
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.
Hence
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, the
government
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 ought to spend
money
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 on
roads
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 because middle-class
people
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use
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 them.
Conclusion
Conclusion: The
government
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 should have spent
money
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 not only on
railways
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 but
also
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 on
roads
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; both transportation sectors must be important to our lives.

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Introduction & Conclusion
Your introduction should clearly present your main argument, reflecting a clear position regarding the prompt. The conclusion should effectively summarize your key points without introducing new arguments.
Logical Structure & Cohesion
Ensure the logical flow of ideas and use cohesive devices to enhance the essay structure. Paragraphs should connect with each other seamlessly and maintain consistent focus.
Supporting Main Points
Develop your main points with relevant and detailed examples. Avoid overly general statements and ensure that your examples are specific enough to support your arguments effectively.
Addressing the Prompt
Make sure to address the prompt comprehensively. Your argument should be well-developed and cover the prompt's scope fully, reflecting your stance throughout the entire response.
Ideas & Examples
Use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to convey your ideas clearly and comprehensively. Each paragraph should center around a single clear idea, using specific and relevant examples to support your position.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
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