In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

It is argued that having a
home
instead
of leasing
one
is crucial for people.
While
there are a variety of factors responsible for it, I believe it is a positive development. There are a number of reasons why owning a
house
is vitally important than hiring.
One
possible reason
stability
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is stability
show examples
. When someone owns a
home
, they have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
fixity
Correct your spelling
fixed
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place to live.
This
is because it is hard to find a
durability
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durable
show examples
location when you are renting which
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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not available for permanent, as the owner of
building
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the building
a building
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who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
might sell the
home
. Another reason why
home
ownership is vital for
peoples
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people
show examples
is that status and success. In our society earning a
house
is a sign of status
as well as
achievement, as
individuals
earn money or save
piece
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pieces
show examples
of cash for buying a
house
that they feel,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is a part of their life goals.
Finally
, if
individuals
have a
home
, they can control the
home
.
For example
, the
home
can be decorated as they feel,
such
as painting the wall. Ownership
a
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of a
show examples
home
rather than hiring is significant for
individuals
is
Correct word choice
and is
show examples
a positive change for several reasons.
Firstly
, if someone possesses a residence, it allows them to comfortably live. In their own
home
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home,
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they are able to do anything compared to renting
one
, as
individuals
could
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can
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do as want,
there
Correct word choice
and there
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are no limitations for living.
Secondly
, it provides equity to the landlord, which is a valuable financial asset.
For instance
, if
persons
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people
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purchase a
house
with
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for
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200,000 dollars, it assists them to
built
Wrong verb form
build
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equity. As we know the cost of
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
home
is rising day by day,
therefore
after 10 years the price will
be increase
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increase
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suchlike
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by like
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100,000
dollers
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dollars
.
As a result
, the owner of
home
Add an article
the home
a home
show examples
have
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has
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the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
equity
100,000
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of 100,000
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dollars that can
get
Verb problem
be
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in cash
with
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by
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solding
Correct your spelling
selling
the dwelling.
Lastly
, the money of the rent, which is given by the leaseholder to the owner
that
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apply
show examples
can
be save
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be saved
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, as if you are a renter, you have to pay
extra
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the extra
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cost
that is
not included in the homes bills,
taxes
Correct word choice
or taxes
show examples
, So, when you have your own dwelling, it helps to
defense
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defence
show examples
the payment. In conclusion,
although
owning a dwelling is vitally crucial than hiring
one
for various purposes, In my
opinion
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opinion,
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this
tendency is better for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals
and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society as a whole.
Submitted by eanna6554 on

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coherence cohesion
You should ensure that the structure of your essay follows a clear and logical sequence. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea with supporting arguments that are relevant to the topic. Transitions between paragraphs need improvement for better readability and to ensure the essay flows smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present but could be improved. The introduction should more clearly state your thesis, and the conclusion should summarise your points without introducing new information. Both should be clearly distinguishable and more effectively bookend your arguments.
coherence cohesion
While you have attempted to support your main points, the supporting explanations lack depth and sometimes clarity. Use specific examples to illustrate your points and ensure they are clearly linked to your arguments. Avoid vague statements and generalizations.
task achievement
You have provided a complete response to the prompt, but your response could be more comprehensive. Consider exploring the reasons behind home ownership in greater depth and discuss both positive and negative aspects of the situation to provide a more balanced argument.
task achievement
Your ideas are somewhat clear, but there are issues with grammar, vocabulary, and sentence construction that hinder comprehension. To improve, focus on sentence structure, use a wider range of vocabulary, and check your work for grammatical accuracy. Clarify your ideas by breaking down complex sentences into simpler ones where necessary.
task achievement
You need to include more relevant and specific examples to support your ideas effectively. These examples should be clearly linked to the points you are making and should be detailed enough to add value to your argument.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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