Some people think that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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It is believed that

children

Use synonyms

should be encouraged to take part in

team

Use synonyms

activities

Use synonyms

by their

parents

Use synonyms

since it gives opportunity to interact with others even though others think that

this

Linking Words

might create difficulties for both

parents

Use synonyms

and

children

Use synonyms

because of fixed training schedules. On the one hand, there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

a great deal of

Change the quantifier

a lot of

many

plenty of

show examples

benefits to

take

Change the verb form

taking

show examples

part

fixed

Change preposition

in fixed

show examples

activities

Use synonyms

. Since,if

children

Use synonyms

engage in

team

Use synonyms

activities

Use synonyms

, they have more fun with their peers rather than on their own.

As a result

Linking Words

, teammates support each other to achieve a goal as

team

Use synonyms

activities

Use synonyms

foster a sense of respect for not only teammates but

also

Linking Words

opponents.

For instance

Linking Words

, if they are encouraged to take part in

team

Use synonyms

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

activities

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as soccer, basketball

as well

Linking Words

Correct word choice

and

show examples

athletics,

this

Linking Words

serves for both

physically

Change the word

physical

show examples

and

emotionally

Change the word

emotional

show examples

development.

Therefore

Linking Words

, these

activities

Use synonyms

are necessary for

children

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On the other hand

Linking Words

, individual

activities

Use synonyms

are better at teaching

children

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to rely on their own skills and being independent-spirited.

In addition

Linking Words

, they have enough time to interact with their

parents

Use synonyms

activities

Use synonyms

. Because of

these

Correct pronoun usage

this

show examples

, they don't suffer

with

Change preposition

from

show examples

a disability or medical

condition

Fix the agreement mistake

conditions

show examples

aim

Correct word choice

and aim

show examples

to forcing to fit into a

team

Use synonyms

. Despite the fact that they play chess, ride a bicycle or run, these are beneficial for their health,

for example

Linking Words

. So

parents

Use synonyms

should encourage them to do individual

activities

Use synonyms

. In my opinion, it depends on their age. If they are schoolchildren, individual

activities

Use synonyms

are better.

However

Linking Words

they get older, they should be encouraged to participate in

team

Use synonyms

activities

Use synonyms

thank

Verb problem

apply

show examples

to develop

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

freedom.

rhsiya50Thu Dec 14 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your essay needs to clearly introduce the topic and present a distinct thesis statement that outlines the main points you will discuss. Having a clear conclusion that summarises your views and the arguments presented is also crucial for scoring higher in introduction and conclusion presence.

coherence cohesion

To achieve a higher score in logical structure, ensure your essay has a clear progression of ideas with logical connectors and appropriate paragraphing. Develop each main idea in its own paragraph and use a range of linking words to guide the reader through your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Provide thorough support for your main points through explanations, arguments, and examples. Expand your ideas to demonstrate an in-depth understanding of the topic, rather than listing multiple points with limited development.

task achievement

For a higher score in task achievement, make sure your essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt. Clearly express your viewpoints and ensure each paragraph contributes to the overall response to the task.

task achievement

Aim to present clear, comprehensive ideas that are well-developed and fully explained. Avoid ambiguity and strive for precision in your writing to convey your points effectively.

task achievement

Include relevant, specific examples to support your viewpoints. Make sure your examples are well-integrated into your arguments and clearly illustrate the points you are making.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
occupied
organized
group activities
benefits
social
teamwork skills
interpersonal skills
friendship
discipline
time management
interests
hobbies
independent play
creativity
problem-solving skills
self-reliance
explore
discover

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Some people think that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

More and more people claim that modern work patterns are a source of stress. What do you think are the causes of this? Can you suggest some possible solutions?

Many people like to go on holiday abroad, while other believes it is better to visit places within their own country. Discuss both of view and give your opinion.

Today, more and more people are waiting until their thirties to get married and have children. Do you think it is a positive or negative trend?

In the age of social media, many people believe that online friendships are just as valuable as offline ones, while others argue that these cannot replace real-world relationships. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In the future all cars, buses, and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?