IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

You recently stayed at your friend's place, to look after the house while he/she is away. You accidentally damaged something in his/her house. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, you should: describe what the accident was explain when it happened suggest how the damage can be fixed.

#friend #place #house #accident #damage
Hope to see you in the best of your health and radiant spirit. I’m writing
this
 letter to let you know that by mistake I damaged your painting. By mistake, one of your
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
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picture’s
Change noun form
picture
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 frames broke because of me
while
 I was
doing
Unnecessary verb
apply
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cleaning all alone at your home and the picture ripped off from the left side top corner.
Due to
 construction in your
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
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, all of the dust came inside
of
Change preposition
apply
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your house which made your floor dirty. So, I decided to clean your house by myself and during dusting, a painting of
Himalayas
Correct article usage
the Himalayas
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 slipped from my hand which damaged the frame. I apologize for the mistake made by me in advance;
however
, I already
contact
Wrong verb form
contacted
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 an art gallery close to your home, and they only need two days to fix it and they
also
 told me that it’ll
looks
Change the verb form
look
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 brand new after restoration. I’ll take care of all the expenses for that. Hope to see you soon. Regards, Ishan
Submitted by ishan1502ishan on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear logical structure; paragraphs were somewhat used but the ideas were not entirely well-organized.
coherence cohesion
Use appropriate greetings and closings for the informal letter genre. The greeting and closing were too formal for a letter addressing a friend.
coherence cohesion
Maintain one central idea per paragraph to enhance clarity and cohesion.
task achievement
Effectively cover all points of the task with sufficient detail. The response lacked some depth in the explanation and repair suggestions.
task achievement
Adopt an informal, friendly tone suitable for a letter to a friend. The tone was inconsistently formal, which did not align with the context.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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