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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some students take a gap year after graduating high school to work and/or travel. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

#students #gap #year #school #work #travel
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Taking a break after finishing high school has become more common among
students
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 who want time off before college or work.
While
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 there are several advantages to taking a
gap
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year
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, there are
also
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 some drawbacks that need to be considered. On the one hand, a
gap
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year
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 can offer many benefits for young people. First and foremost, one of the primary advantages is the opportunity to gain practical skills and hands-on experience. For
examples
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example
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, these experiences can range from learning new languages,
developing
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and developing
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 leadership skills, to understanding work environments – all of which can be advantageous in future studies or career paths.
Furthermore
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, taking a break helps
students
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 figure out what they want to study or do for work. Indeed, after high school,
students
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 can try things like internships to see what they like, and that can help them decide what to do next.
On the other hand
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,
although
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 taking a
year
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 off can offer certain benefits for
students
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, its drawbacks are much greater. The first point is the financial burden when some
students
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 cannot afford
for
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apply
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the travelling fee.
As a result
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,
this
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make
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makes
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 a few people detract
for
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from
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 the experience and incur debt in their
gap
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 years.
In addition
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,
this
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 trend can cause difficulties for you if you want to get back to
universities
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university
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. Indeed, many forms of financial aid, scholarships and so on are
just
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apply
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available for
the
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apply
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students
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 right after graduation,
thus
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 missing out
them
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on them
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 is a great disadvantage for them. In conclusion, taking a
gap
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year
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 after graduating high school can offer numerous benefits but it
also
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 poses challenges.
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content
Task achievement: You identified advantages and disadvantages of the gap year, but some of your ideas weren't fully developed. The examples provided were not detailed enough to fully support your arguments. For a higher score, provide more comprehensive reasoning, and offer specific, well-elaborated examples to illustrate your points.
structure
Coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a recognizable structure but could benefit from clearer connections between ideas. The transitions between the paragraphs could be smoother and linking phrases should be used more effectively. To improve your score, work on your paragraphing so that each contains one clear main idea and a cohesive structure throughout.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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