The health benefits of physical exercises are well known. Despite this, many people do not exercise regularly. What are the reasons for this? What could be done to encourage them to exercise regularly?
The significance of physical well-being is substantial. population’s exercising regularly is explained by their lack of time. The mentioned problem can be solved with
People
do variety
of procedures to stay healthy. Add an article
a variety
However
, working 6 days a week, from 9 to 5 leaves most of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
with little to no time to exercising
. Opening more and popularising affordable and comfortable Change the form of the verb
exercise
gym
centres around the city would solve this
problem.
Working people
usually underestimate the importance of physical exercises, giving more value to their work
. That is
because in
offices, hard-working Add the comma(s)
, in
people
are more valued. Despite of
Change preposition
apply
this
fact, staying in sitting
position for several hours can seriously damage Correct article usage
a sitting
person’s
health.In Correct article usage
a person’s
19th
Correct article usage
the 19th
centure
, when factories were first opened, Correct your spelling
century
people
worked there for up to 12-16 hours a day, which in perspective dramatically exhausted them physically. People
spend third
of their lifetime Correct article usage
a third
in
Change preposition
at
work
, therefore
work
Wrong verb form
working in
office
Correct article usage
the office
for
Change preposition
apply
them
should not damage their Correct pronoun usage
apply
healthiness
.
Designated Replace the word
health
gym
sessions could solve the problem of people
not exercising regularly. If the gym
is comfortable at price and is located near to
Change preposition
apply
people
’s work
or accommodation, the demand for them would increase significantly. The reason for that is
, most
of the residents might not be ready Correct word choice
that most
to
the daily use of transport to get to the Change preposition
for
gym
or do not want to pay much to exercising
. Change the verb form
exercise
As a result
, high quality
public gyms could make Add a hyphen
high-quality
mope
Correct your spelling
more
people
to
do physical exercises on a regular basis.
Change the verb form
apply
To conclude
, the downgrade ofCorrect article usage
the
constructing
of more public gyms. It is predicted many Replace the word
construction
of
countries will have to take measures to fight with lack of Change preposition
apply
working out
.Wrong verb form
work
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coherence cohesion
Your essay needs a clear logical structure, with well-organized paragraphs, each discussing a separate idea. You must ensure that there is a clear progression from one paragraph to the next and use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas within and across paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion should succinctly present the main argument and summarize the key points, respectively. Your essay lacks a clear introduction that outlines the context of the discussion, as well as a coherent conclusion that draws together the threads of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Support for main points should be specific and directly related to the question. Aim for clarity by developing ideas fully and illustrating them with concrete examples where appropriate. While you have made some attempts to support your points, your examples might not be entirely appropriate or fully developed in the context of the question.
task achievement
Ensure that you address all parts of the task, providing a clear and relevant response to each question mentioned. You have provided a response but it could be more complete in addressing why people do not exercise and how to encourage them.
task achievement
Strive to present clear and comprehensive ideas in your essay. Aim to express thoughts in a way that is easily understood, without ambiguity or confusion.
task achievement
Use relevant and specific examples to support your ideas. Make sure the examples are directly linked to the argument you are making and to the question.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?