Advertisements are becoming more and more common in everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development?

#advertisements #life #development

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In the contemporary era,

is an inevitable thing in many businesses and there are a large number of

companies

that invest a great deal of money on

While

some groups are of the opinion that

this

is not a positive situation, others opine it offers a great number of advantages. In my opinion, ads play a crucial role in every economy. On the one hand, some individuals believe nowadays we can see lots of wrong advertisements that show a thing really flashy but in reality the product is poor in

quality

In other words

, there are a lot of corporations that use tricky slogans in their advertisements, which is not based on morality.

For instance

, I purchased a pair of shoes online, and

while

the website claimed it was all made of leather, after receiving I found it was made of really cheap plastic.

Moreover

, nowadays there are some businesses that abuse women in their ads and they show a really super-hot girl in order to tempt customers, particularly juveniles, to buy their

products

, which not only causes a lot of mental disorders for teenagers but

also

decreases the rate of morality in society.

On the other hand

is thought

Change preposition

of by

show examples

lots of people as a useful topic and they believe, it has an amazing effect on heightening the

quality

and lessening the prices.

Because in

Correct word choice

show examples

this

competitive economy,

companies

and corporations strive to increase the

quality

of their

products

and decrease

the

Change the word

their

show examples

prices

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

in order to observe lots of clients.

For example

, it has been a long time

that

Change preposition

since

show examples

two famous

companies

in Germany, Benz and BMW,

are

Wrong verb form

have been

show examples

in competition with each other, and

as a result

Change preposition

apply

show examples

that

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

customers

take

Verb problem

have

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

advantages

Fix the agreement mistake

advantage

show examples

. Because these

companies

aimed to boost the

quality

and decrease the price of

products

Moreover

, advertisements increase the awareness of people about new

products

companies

and they can make intelligent choices by comparing the features of the product, which has a double positive effect for customers. In conclusion,

although

nowadays we can see some unethical activities by some

companies

, underestimating the importance of

in our

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

is not logical. Aside from playing a significant role in society,

Add an article

the advertisement

show examples

comes with a multitude number of benefits, like the aforementioned issues.

Submitted by en.mohsenazizi on Thu Dec 14 2023

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task achievement

Ensure a clear position throughout the essay, your introduction presents a thesis statement, but your subsequent paragraphs seem slightly contradictory. Maintain a consistent stance for a higher score.

task achievement

Work on developing clearer topic sentences that directly relate to the question, and ensure all paragraphs consistently support the central idea of the essay. Avoid introducing ideas without fully developing them.

task achievement

Include more specific examples to support your points. Relevant examples are crucial to a high score as they demonstrate the practical application of your arguments and ideas.

coherence cohesion

Structure your essay logically with clear transitions between paragraphs. This enhances the readability and flow of the essay, which is essential for a higher score in coherence and cohesion.

coherence cohesion

Strengthen paragraph unity by focusing each paragraph on a single idea that ties back to the main argument. This will improve the cohesiveness of your essay.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

380 words

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Advertisements are becoming more and more common in everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development?

Schools should only offer subjects that are beneficial to students’ future career success. Other subjects, such as music and sports, are not important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people get into debt by buying things they do not need and are unable to afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

In the modern world there is a movement away from written exams to more practical assessments discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.