Ensuring that children have regular physical exercise should be the responsibility of parents and therefore schools should not waste valuable school time having sports lessons as part of the curriculum? To what extent do you agree?

#children #exercise #responsibility #parents #schools #waste #school #time #sports #lessons #part #curriculum

It is argued that

sports

lessons

should not take away precious time from the

school

for physical exercises, it should be the responsibility of parents to exercise regularly.

This

essay disagrees with the statement completely

due to

children

's physical and psychological

health

is related to their studies.

This

essay will first look at how it will open up interest for

sports

and

important

Rephrase

how important

show examples

sport is for

children

health

. In my opinion, those who believe that parents should ensure that their

children

regularly exercise, argue that they are responsible for upbringing and their holistic development.

Thus

, parents can

take

Correct your spelling

make

show examples

their

children

fully responsible, but

school

is a public place for schoolchildren, and if there are

sports

lessons

school

then

they will have an interest in various

sports

, watching other students to keep fit.

For example

, if a child is interested in any kind of sport, he can participate in various activities,

therefore

, thanks to

school

subjects, especially

sports

lessons

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

children

will have an interest in

sports

and strengthen their physical and psychological

health

On the other hand

, schools should include

sports

lessons

in the curriculum, because it brings many benefits to

children

such

as less of diseases, good physical body and

increase

Wrong verb form

increased

show examples

brain-functioning.

For example

, if students sit at their desks in class all day, their

shoulder

Fix the agreement mistake

shoulders

show examples

may hurt, and

this

can lead to a serious illness that will not be of any benefit in the future. In conclusion,

sports

lessons

should be made part of the curriculum, because it will help

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

health

also

it will discover the love of

sports

and will help in the future to discover various interesting types

activities

Change preposition

of activities

show examples

Submitted by turekeldiyevaj on Thu Dec 14 2023

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coherence cohesion

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While the essay addresses the task, the response could be more thoroughly developed with additional examples and further explanation. Make sure that the examples provided are specific, directly relevant, and help to fully illustrate the points being made.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Ensuring that children have regular physical exercise should be the responsibility of parents and therefore schools should not waste valuable school time having sports lessons as part of the curriculum? To what extent do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

Art is considered as an important part of society as well as an expression of its culture. Do you think it is important to teach art to children? Do you think adolescent should be encouraged to focus on art rather than other subjects?

Some people think that e-books are the death of paper books while others think that paper books will never disappear? -Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Some people believe that to give opportunities to the new generation companies should encourage high level employees who are older than 55 to retire. Do you agree or disagree?

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?