The chart below shows the places visited by different people living in Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart shows the locations that are visited by different groups of Australian citizens.
Overall
, Linking Words
migrants
from English-speaking countries are the main visitors Use synonyms
of
zoos and theatres, Change preposition
to
while
Linking Words
migrants
from other countries prefer visiting Use synonyms
Use synonyms
library
, still having cinema as the most popular place to go among native Australians.
Fix the agreement mistake
libraries
To begin
with, the data shows that half of Linking Words
zoo
visitors are Add an article
the zoo
the
Correct article usage
apply
English speaking
Add a hyphen
English-speaking
migrants
. Use synonyms
In addition
, Native Australians and Linking Words
migrants
from other countries take smaller parts in zoo popularity, with around 42 and 35 Use synonyms
percentages
respectively.
To continue with, Replace the word
per cent
Use synonyms
library
is really Add an article
the library
favored
by the Change the spelling
favoured
non-english
speaking Change the capitalization
non-English
migrants
, taking almost 60 Use synonyms
Use synonyms
percent
, Change the spelling
per cent
while
the other Linking Words
migrants
prefer it less, with 40 Use synonyms
Use synonyms
percent
on their bar. The native citizens go to the Change the spelling
per cent
library
a bit less, around 38 Use synonyms
Use synonyms
percent
.
Theatre is considered Change the spelling
per cent
as
the least popular attraction for people. The Change preposition
apply
non-english
speaking Change the capitalization
non-English
migrants
Use synonyms
take
Correct your spelling
make
10
Change preposition
up 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
from
visitors Change preposition
of
of
the Change preposition
to
theater
, twice as less as the natives. Around 25 Change the spelling
theatre
Use synonyms
percent
goes to the Change the spelling
per cent
last
category of Linking Words
people
group.
Cinema is the most popular attraction in Australia, especially among the natives, with Add an article
a people
the people
crucial
70 Correct article usage
a crucial
Use synonyms
percent
. It is a bit less popular to the Change the spelling
per cent
non-english
speaking Change the capitalization
non-English
migrants
than Use synonyms
Use synonyms
library
, having only 50 Add an article
a library
the library
Use synonyms
percent
, Change the spelling
per cent
while
for Linking Words
English speaking
Add a hyphen
English-speaking
migrants
it is Use synonyms
also
the most popular attraction, having almost 65 Linking Words
Use synonyms
percent
.Change the spelling
per cent
Submitted by firescorpion991 on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words migrants, library, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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