Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe that there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #crime #prison #sentences #alternative

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It is clear that

Linking Words

crime

Use synonyms

is one of the pressing issues in

society

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. I believe that harsh punishment is a good way to reduce

Use synonyms

crime

Correct article usage

the crime

show examples

rate

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

I think alternative ways are better. I admit that serving longer

prison

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sentences is a good way

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because

this

Linking Words

solution acts as a deterrent to would-be

criminals

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and gives them a chance to think twice.

Besides

Linking Words

, implementing longer

prison

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sentences for

criminals

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would help

society

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combat

criminals

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and create a

society

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without

crime

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However

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harsh punishment would push a pile of pressure on overstretched

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prison

Fix the agreement mistake

prisons

show examples

As a result

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, taxpayers will have to pay more money annually for the operation cost of

prison

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Besides

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, with the resentment of some prisoners, they would make plans to escape and can not be rehabilitated.

Consequently

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this

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measure would fail to address the root causes of the problem. Observation in current

society

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, poverty and unemployment are

one

Correct determiner usage

some

show examples

of the driving reasons for

criminals

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Because of living

Change preposition

Living

show examples

under those conditions

forcing

Wrong verb form

forced

show examples

them to take what they did not have to sustain their life and their family.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the lack of education

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also

Add a missing verb

is also

show examples

the major reason for the increase in

crime

Use synonyms

rate

Use synonyms

. As they were not taught properly

Rephrase

apply

show examples

they have no choice but to be educated on

streets

Correct article usage

the streets

show examples

rather than at school.

Therefore

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, providing job opportunities and making education more accessible for people would play an important role in decreasing the

crime

Use synonyms

rate

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. In conclusion, it is undeniable that longer

prison

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sentences are an effective solution to decrease the

crime

Use synonyms

rate

Use synonyms

However

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, there are lots of alternative solutions to improve

this

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pressing issue.

Submitted by nghaphgtring2007 on Thu Dec 14 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

You should aim to present clear and logical arguments. The essay has noticeable issues with logical structure and flow, causing occasional confusion for the reader. To improve, focus on creating more cohesive and coherent paragraphs with clear topic sentences, supporting details, and concluding sentences that are well-connected.

Task Achievement

While the essay responds to the task, the response needs to be more developed with clear and comprehensive ideas that directly address the given prompts. Illustrating points with relevant examples would strengthen the effectiveness of arguments and contribute to a higher band score.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe that there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this?

In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?