Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe that there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is clear that
crime
is one of the pressing issues in society
. I believe that harsh punishment is a good way to reduce crime
Correct article usage
the crime
rate
while
I think alternative ways are better.
I admit that serving longer prison
sentences is a good way,
because Remove the comma
apply
this
solution acts as a deterrent to would-be criminals
and gives them a chance to think twice. Besides
, implementing longer prison
sentences for criminals
would help society
combat criminals
and create a society
without crime
. However
harsh punishment would push a pile of pressure on overstretched prison
. Fix the agreement mistake
prisons
As a result
, taxpayers will have to pay more money annually for the operation cost of prison
. Besides
, with the resentment of some prisoners, they would make plans to escape and can not be rehabilitated.
Consequently
, this
measure would fail to address the root causes of the problem. Observation in current society
, poverty and unemployment are one
of the driving reasons for Correct determiner usage
some
criminals
. Because of living
under those conditions Change preposition
Living
forcing
them to take what they did not have to sustain their life and their family. Wrong verb form
forced
Moreover
, the lack of education also
the major reason for the increase in Add a missing verb
is also
crime
rate
. As they were not taught properly so
they have no choice but to be educated on Rephrase
apply
streets
rather than at school. Correct article usage
the streets
Therefore
, providing job opportunities and making education more accessible for people would play an important role in decreasing the crime
rate
.
In conclusion, it is undeniable that longer prison
sentences are an effective solution to decrease the crime
rate
. However
, there are lots of alternative solutions to improve this
pressing issue.Submitted by nghaphgtring2007 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Coherence and Cohesion
You should aim to present clear and logical arguments. The essay has noticeable issues with logical structure and flow, causing occasional confusion for the reader. To improve, focus on creating more cohesive and coherent paragraphs with clear topic sentences, supporting details, and concluding sentences that are well-connected.
Task Achievement
While the essay responds to the task, the response needs to be more developed with clear and comprehensive ideas that directly address the given prompts. Illustrating points with relevant examples would strengthen the effectiveness of arguments and contribute to a higher band score.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!