IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career , while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after graduating from high school . Dicuss both views and give your opinion .

#people #university #college #route #career #job #school #dicuss
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
some
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individuals
indviduals
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individuals
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
 that
optaning
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obtaining
opening
 a college
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degree
dgree
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degree
 would improve your chances for better employee states , which
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 do believe as well because
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 rais your
oppertionties
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opportunities
 to get a
desant
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decent
descent
 income in
future
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the future
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mean
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apply
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while
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other
others
othere
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others
 group thinks starting a job after finishing secondary school is more
benifishal
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beneficial
this
 essay will
explor
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explore
 both
prespective
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perspective
Firstly
i
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I
show examples
 strongly agree with is
notion
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the notion
a notion
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 , as been graduated
form
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from
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 a good
coollege
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college
 is
essnisal
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essential
 to
compate
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compete
compare
complete
 with
othere
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other
 candidates when applying to a high
qulification
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qualification
 types of jobs that mean more chances to progress in
life
ones
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once
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 you got them they
helps
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help
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 you
achive
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achieve
 a
a
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apply
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good
qulity
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quality
life
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of life
show examples
 style standers like
geeting
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getting
 married or been able to rent a house or flat , paying
you`r
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your
 bills , have a saving account to use for holidays or
miltiple
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multiple
ocations
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locations
, and that won`t come unless the person is highly
qulified
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qualified
, with a high income,
for example
 , doctors and bussenissemens who have
finish
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finished
show examples
 there higher education had
a high wages
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high wages
a high wage
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 than low skills workers . On the
othere
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other
 hand, people who
is
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are
show examples
aganist
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against
this
thinks
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think
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 that working from a young age like 16 -18 would teach
the
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apply
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young people
responsplity
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responsibility
 and independancy
form
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from
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such
 a
yong
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young
agee
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age
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 by
take
Wrong verb form
taking
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cantrol
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control
 of
there
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their
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 own
life
 that helps
there
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their
show examples
 personality to
gow
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grow
 and become more aware with the desigions they make , in instance in german teens there was studes show that teens who have start there solo online bussenise since secondary school years where more seccseccfull later in
life
 . in
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conclusion
cancluion
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conclusion
Add a comma
,
show examples
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although
althogh
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although
 some
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girls
gueas
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guests
 may
brefire
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before
satrting
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starting
 work after high school ,
this
 essay
agree
Change the verb form
agrees
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 that having an
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academic
acadmic
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academic degree
dgree
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degree
 is
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
 way to have
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 stable
life
 and
and
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
dending
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ending
 up with a good career,
Submitted by hebadyala on

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Introduction Advice
Your introduction provides a basic outline of the topic, but it contains grammatical errors that somewhat impact the clarity of your position. To increase the score, make sure the introduction clearly states the discussion points and includes a precise thesis statement that reflects your opinion.
Paragraph Structure Advice
It is important to organize your essay into clear paragraphs. Each paragraph must have a central idea, followed by supporting information. Transitional phrases between ideas to show their connection would help maintain a logical flow.
Grammar & Spelling Advice
Your essay contains multiple grammatical, punctuation, and spelling errors which impact the reader's understanding. Proofreading to correct these errors would significantly improve the writing quality.
Example Development Advice
Inclusion of relevant examples is good, but make sure they are fully developed and directly support your main points. You should also work to clearly state how these examples relate to your argument.
Clarity of Expression Advice
You must work on the clear expression of your ideas and avoid overly complex or awkward sentences that confuse the reader. Strive for clarity and simplicity in your writing.
Conclusion Advice
Your conclusion summarizes the essay, but it lacks a strong final thought and could be more concise in restating your position. Conclusions should effectively wrap up your argument, leaving the reader with a clear understanding of your stance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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