The line graph shows the number of active daily users of Facebook in 3 different countries.

The line graph shows the number of active daily users of Facebook in 3 different countries.
The line graph represents the
number
of active social media
users
,
Facebook
Change preposition
on Facebook
show examples
,
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
3 various nations (Vietnam, Cambodia and Thailand). Units are measured in
million
Fix the agreement mistake
millions
show examples
.
Overall
it can be seen that people using the platform in Thailand and Vietnam had a huge leap taken over the years.
Users
in Cambodia
in contrast
,
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fluctuation throughout the years.
Firstly
, In the initial
year
, 25
million
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Thai citizens were using
Facebook
but,
gradually
Correct pronoun usage
this gradually
show examples
declined to almost 15
million
in 2010.
Furthermore
, the population using
Facebook
plunged down to 5
million
within 4 years of
time
Add an article
the time
show examples
frame and remained constant in the
year
2014. Starting from 5
million
in
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
2007, the
users
Correct quantifier usage
number of users
show examples
in Vietnam kept inclining and reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
more than 15
million
2010
Change preposition
in 2010
show examples
. With no going back the
number
of
Facebook
users
sky rocked to more than 25
million
in
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
2014 and
marked
Wrong verb form
marking
show examples
highest
Add an article
the highest
show examples
number
of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
to use the platform.
Similarly
, the
users
in Cambodia reached approximately 14
million
in 2007 and took a downward turn in
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
2009 with roughly 11
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
users
.
Then
the
number
of Cambodian
users
palpitated
Verb problem
increased
show examples
to about 17
million
and just under 10
million
in
year
2012 and 2013 respectively. In 2014 the total
number
reached its peak (around 19
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
).
Submitted by aesthetickookie990 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words number, users, facebook, million, year with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: