Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth rather than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To What extent do you agree or disagree?

In
modern
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the modern
show examples
era, it is
debatable
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a debatable
show examples
topic that many famous
personality
Change to a plural noun
personalities
show examples
become a part of controversy all over the time because of money and fame.
That is
why they present a wrong example for youth. I strongly agree with
this
statement nowadays, social
media
opens lots of gates to
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
famous these
days
,
it
Correct word choice
and it
show examples
may
ruins
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ruin
show examples
the life of
youngster
Add an article
a youngster
show examples
.
Firstly
,
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
Unnecessary verb
play
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play's
Verb problem
play
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a vital role they always
shows
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show
show examples
Change noun form
superstars'
superstar's
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superstars
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superstars'
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lifestyle
for earning
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to earn
show examples
a high rating. They telecast small moments which are not so important and entertaining.
For instance
,
few
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a few
show examples
days
back
media
channels
shows
Wrong verb form
showed
show examples
comparison
Add an article
a comparison
the comparison
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between Will
smith
Capitalize word
Smith
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and Shahrukh
khan
Capitalize word
Khan
show examples
houses which would be not so important for anyone,
whereas
a star from China Jacki Chain donates all his amount to trust but
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
is not
showed
Wrong verb form
show
show examples
this
.
Moreover
, influencer
buy
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buys
show examples
something expensive for them to just show off, people just
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
crazy
for
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about
show examples
it and starts
talk
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talking
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about
there
Correct your spelling
their
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luxurious life.
Secondly
, technology plays a very important role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
celebrities
to become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
more famous. Sometimes they are not too
much
Rephrase
very
show examples
talented but with the help of new
genration systens
Correct your spelling
generation systems
they change
voice
Correct pronoun usage
their voice
show examples
and appearance which look very
atractive
Correct your spelling
attractive
even without
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
hardwok
Correct your spelling
hard
.
For example
,
now a
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
days
many singers change
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
echo
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
taking help from new
softwares
Correct your spelling
software
for the good quality of the recording but when they perform in live shows they get embarrassed.
Furthermore
, these
days
people are
also
using many
application
Fix the agreement mistake
applications
show examples
in which they can add videos and get famous for various reasons and they can earn name and fame without doing any hard work. In conclusion,
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
genration
Correct your spelling
generation
should not follow
influencer
Fix the agreement mistake
influencers
show examples
because of
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
fame
instead
of
this
they should see
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
and some
are become
Change to the active voice
become
have become
show examples
famous without
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
, it put
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
impact on
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
.
Submitted by shubhashish.bobby on

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task achievement
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • glamour
  • wealth
  • achievements
  • portrayed
  • overshadow
  • influenced
  • lifestyles
  • unrealistic
  • expectations
  • values
  • promoting
  • hard work
  • perseverance
  • inspire
  • positive impact
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