Some people believe it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays a huge amount of
people
have terrible circumstances with a job and because of lack of money. A good illustration of these situations can affect people
's mental health and can lead to many problems. Experts point out that for some people
these bad situations seem like trials and to others like a bad fate.
We cannot deny that successful work
and a good salary are some of the main reasons for people
’s happiness, but we can not say that society chooses its own fate, it depends on people
. Furthermore
, humans did not get used to non-success, it seems to be the main reason for people
's failures which are the end for someone and just a new chance to improve themselves for others. Moreover
one should not forget that we live in a cruel world and you need to fight for your happiness and lucky life
.
On the other hand
, we can see that many people
toil all their life
and cannot reach their goals. Perhaps it's just a result of bad Fix the agreement mistake
lives
work
,
because I strongly believe that everyone can achieve their dream. We can see Remove the comma
apply
this
when we compare people
with opposed levels of life
. Such
as a poor students need to create a reputation and authority by themselves.
From these arguments, we can conclude that people
’s work
reflects on life
success, after losses you get a new chance to develop your work
skills and also
you need to remember that you can always improve yourself every day.Submitted by 6atb8k on
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion which are critical in establishing context and summarizing the views discussed. It would be beneficial to clearly delineate the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion to improve understanding and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Supporting points with adequate development and specific examples is crucial to strengthen the argument. The essay should include more developed ideas and relevant instances to substantiate the claims made.
task achievement
The response to the task is incomplete; it is important to expressly discuss both sides of the argument as the prompt demands, and provide a personal view. Rewriting the essay to address both views and give a clearer opinion would enhance the task achievement score.
task achievement
Clarity and comprehensibility of ideas are partially achieved but require further work. Refining thesis statements and topic sentences to guide the reader smoothly through the argument would improve clarity.
task achievement
The use of more detailed and precise examples to illustrate arguments is vital. The examples cited are generic and do not sufficiently support the main points. Using specific and relevant examples would enhance the essay's effectiveness.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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