Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is undeniable that monetary assistance
of
the rich Change preposition
from
countries
has not brought benefits to the undeveloped countries
in terms of coping with the
poverty to some extent. Personally, I concur with the statement that the wealthy governments should take various types of help which could be more effective when supporting the poor nations.
On the one hand, there are several compelling reasons why financial aid fails to assist undeveloped Correct article usage
apply
countries
in improving their citizen’s quality of life. First and foremost, money supports
Fix the agreement mistake
support
are
only perceived as Correct subject-verb agreement
is
temporary
Correct article usage
a temporary
solutions
so it is hard for them to address thoroughly difficult issues which the poorer Fix the agreement mistake
solution
countries
are facing. For example
, pouring a great deal of money could not help people living in impoverished regions all over the world overcoming
starvation in the long term. Another reason is that monetary support could make the poor Wrong verb form
overcome
countries
become over reliant
on the developed ones. Add a hyphen
over-reliant
As a result
, these countries
could not create new and effective strategies which could enhance their socio economic
status in the future.
Add a hyphen
socio-economic
On the other hand
, there are more beneficial methods to aid poor countries
rather than financial assistance. Firstly
, experts from various fields, such
as the economy, education and environment of the rich countries
could be sent to the deprived areas in order to provide deep training courses for residents there. This
could lead to the improvement of agricultural techniques or the development of the educational system, all of which could have a great contribution to Correct article usage
the higher
higher
living standards of citizens. Another effective method is that the developed Correct article usage
the higher
countries
could give support by signing the
commercial contracts with the undeveloped Correct article usage
apply
countries
in different sectors. This
would make sure that the impoverished regions could have more opportunities to develop and compete in the international market, creating more jobs with decent and stable income for all citizens, thus
reducing the poverty rate in these areas in the long run.
In conclusion, all things considered, I strongly believe that to help poor countries
overcome poverty in the long term, the
rich Correct article usage
apply
countries
could apply various measures like technical assistance or creating opportunities for economic development instead
of only assisting financial support.Submitted by truongtumy0108 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion and discusses both sides of the argument, which is a positive aspect of task achievement. Ensure every paragraph has a clear central idea and flesh out supporting details thoroughly.
Task Achievement
Work on developing specific examples to strengthen arguments. While the essay has relevant examples, they could be more detailed to enhance task response.
Coherence and Cohesion
The organizational structure of the essay is commendable. It has a logical flow with an introduction and conclusion, and the ideas are well-organized within paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Maintain the logical progression of ideas throughout. However, occasionally there is a repetition of ideas, so aim for a wider range of cohesive devices and synonyms to demonstrate linguistic range.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!