Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #money #poverty #aid

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is undeniable that monetary assistance

Change preposition

from

show examples

the rich

countries

Use synonyms

has not brought benefits to the undeveloped

countries

Use synonyms

in terms of coping with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

poverty to some extent. Personally, I concur with the statement that the wealthy governments should take various types of help which could be more effective when supporting the poor nations. On the one hand, there are several compelling reasons why financial aid fails to assist undeveloped

countries

Use synonyms

in improving their citizen’s quality of life. First and foremost, money

supports

Fix the agreement mistake

support

show examples

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

only perceived as

temporary

Correct article usage

a temporary

show examples

solutions

Fix the agreement mistake

solution

show examples

so it is hard for them to address thoroughly difficult issues which the poorer

countries

Use synonyms

are facing.

For example

Linking Words

, pouring a great deal of money could not help people living in impoverished regions all over the world

overcoming

Wrong verb form

overcome

show examples

starvation in the long term. Another reason is that monetary support could make the poor

countries

Use synonyms

become

over reliant

Add a hyphen

over-reliant

show examples

on the developed ones.

As a result

Linking Words

, these

countries

Use synonyms

could not create new and effective strategies which could enhance their

socio economic

Add a hyphen

socio-economic

show examples

status in the future.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are more beneficial methods to aid poor

countries

Use synonyms

rather than financial assistance.

Firstly

Linking Words

, experts from various fields,

such

Linking Words

as the economy, education and environment of the rich

countries

Use synonyms

could be sent to the deprived areas in order to provide deep training courses for residents there.

This

Linking Words

could lead to the improvement of agricultural techniques or the development of the educational system, all of which could have a great contribution to

Correct article usage

the higher

show examples

higher

Correct article usage

the higher

show examples

living standards of citizens. Another effective method is that the developed

countries

Use synonyms

could give support by signing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

commercial contracts with the undeveloped

countries

Use synonyms

in different sectors.

This

Linking Words

would make sure that the impoverished regions could have more opportunities to develop and compete in the international market, creating more jobs with decent and stable income for all citizens,

thus

Linking Words

reducing the poverty rate in these areas in the long run. In conclusion, all things considered, I strongly believe that to help poor

countries

Use synonyms

overcome poverty in the long term,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

rich

countries

Use synonyms

could apply various measures like technical assistance or creating opportunities for economic development

instead

Linking Words

of only assisting financial support.

Submitted by truongtumy0108 on Thu Dec 14 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

The essay presents a clear opinion and discusses both sides of the argument, which is a positive aspect of task achievement. Ensure every paragraph has a clear central idea and flesh out supporting details thoroughly.

Task Achievement

Work on developing specific examples to strengthen arguments. While the essay has relevant examples, they could be more detailed to enhance task response.

Coherence and Cohesion

The organizational structure of the essay is commendable. It has a logical flow with an introduction and conclusion, and the ideas are well-organized within paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion

Maintain the logical progression of ideas throughout. However, occasionally there is a repetition of ideas, so aim for a wider range of cohesive devices and synonyms to demonstrate linguistic range.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

359 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

poverty alleviation
economic inequality
developing nations
foreign aid
sustainable growth
technical assistance
expertise
infrastructure
education
fair trade
trade barriers
sustainable development
environmental conservation

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Leaders and directors in an organization are normally older people. Some people think younger leader would be better. Do you agree or disagree?
It’s obvious that the leader of an organisation will usually be an experienced elder people. Sticking on such trend, some people argue that even young people can take a lead of an organisation. I certainly disagree with the statement.
7.5
band
In order to learn the way other people in world lives, it is better to look at film or video recard than documents
In many countries, there is a noticeable increase in daily conversations about financial matters, such as gains and losses, among individuals. This surge can be attributed to factors like rising inflation and the necessity of discussing these topics. Overall, this trend is beneficial as it helps individuals formulate better financial plans and enhance their savings.
6.5
band
Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?
Although more than half of companies' occupations are held by women, senior job positions are mainly occupied by men. For this reason, it is argued that these companies should assign a particular percentage of these positions to women. I completely disagree with this statement because women are capable of achieving these posts with their effort and merit.
4.5
band
Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
People often argue that if they get into a bad situation, it is easy to admit the problem. On the other hand, some people believe that it is time to improve from the mistake. In general, This essay will discuss both view and try to add some examples.
5
band
Studies have shown that most criminals have low levels of education. Because of this many believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate prisoners so they can get a job after being released. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Many argue that being uneducated is the main cause of crime offenses. Several studies have also supported this theory, which led people to believe that education would help prevent repeat offences from commiting crimes. In my point of view, I totally support this idea. However, there are also different better ways to decrease the crime rate.

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Leaders and directors in an organization are normally older people. Some people think younger leader would be better. Do you agree or disagree?

In order to learn the way other people in world lives, it is better to look at film or video recard than documents

Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?

Studies have shown that most criminals have low levels of education. Because of this many believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate prisoners so they can get a job after being released. To what extent do you agree or disagree?