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Band 5

The important scientific discoveries are made on the basis of experiments done on the animals. It is said an injustice to them, however without the experiment on them there is no way scientists can discover new things.

#discoveries #basis #experiments #animals #injustice #experiment #scientists
While
 considering new inventions,
for instance
, the discovery of a vaccine. It is
initially
 experimented on animals followed by humans. All the risk associated with losing life is put on the animals.
This
 one way or the other is not fair. Most of the people argue that it has to be outlawed and give rights to the animals.
However
, when it comes to risking their own life everyone backs down.
For example
, in 2020 when everyone feared dying of COVID-19, some rejected the COVID-19 vaccine even after the multiple experiments and trials were over. In
this
 context, where people are ignorant to get a jab after several successful trials, to go with other alternatives like experiments on humans cannot proceed at all. The only alternative can be, to experiment on humans who can no longer survive like brain-dead patients.
Such
 experiments are ongoing and will continue with it. Other than that, as I have mentioned earlier there are no possible ways to use as a test kid.
To conclude
 my writing I would say that human dominance on earth cannot be subdued by other creatures.
Therefore
although
 an injustice to them, for survival of pre, the preditor must be fed on them.
Similarly
Add a comma
Similarly,
show examples
 human survival needs their life for the purpose.
Submitted by rinchennima77 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay presents the argument in a somewhat organized manner, but the logical sequence of ideas could significantly benefit from clarity and more effective paragraphing. There are connections presented between main ideas, but they are not consistently clear or logical. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all sentences within that paragraph are directly linked to its central idea. Use a range of cohesive devices to improve flow.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task and presents a position on the subject, but the response does not fully extend all parts of the prompt. There is room for more precise development of ideas with additional supporting details and examples. To improve task achievement, ensure that you provide a thorough response to the task with a clear position throughout your essay. Include pertinent examples and a thorough explanation of how these examples support your point of view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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