IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some individuals argue people should buy only local products rather than foreign products. do you agree or disagree

#individuals #people #products
It is argued that
consumer
Fix the agreement mistake
consumers
show examples
 should only buy
products
 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
domestic
producer
Fix the agreement mistake
producers
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 compared
to
Change preposition
than
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
international
products
. I
compeletely
Correct your spelling
completely
 disagree with
this
 view as
worlwide
Correct your spelling
worldwide
products
 are cheaper and it has good
quality
 compared to the locals. First and foremost, global
products
offers
Change the verb form
offer
show examples
 a cheap price
because
Add the preposition
because of
show examples
 the advancement of
production
Add an article
the production
a production
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 system. The international producers
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 an advantage in technological implementation in the industry, which sometimes the local producer could not meet the same conditions.
This
 affects the total
production
 outcome
while
also
save
Wrong verb form
saving
show examples
 the
production
 cost.
For instance
, Adidas is a popular
shoes
Change the noun form
shoe
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 brand, they implemented a
production
 innovation in packaging systems so they can boost the
shoes
Change the noun form
shoe
show examples
production
 from 2000 to 5000 shoes per day.
As a result
, they could
produced
Change the verb form
produce
show examples
 more
products
 and sell
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 an affordable price.
Furthermore
, imported
products
also
Add a missing verb
are also
show examples
 well-known
with
Change preposition
for
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its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
production
quality
.
This
 make customer
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
trust
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the brand so they
could do
Wrong verb form
can
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
repeat order.
Moreover
, global
products
also
provides
Change the verb form
provide
show examples
 a service guarantee so the buyer could feel
save
Replace the word
safe
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 when something happens.
For instance
, Samsung is one of the best mobile phone
brand
Change to a plural noun
brands
show examples
 in the world, people put
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
trust
to
Change preposition
in
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 their
products
 because of
built
Correct article usage
the built
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quality
 and the access
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 after-sales services.
Thus
, Samsung could maintain their customer by serving the qualities for them. In
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conclusion, it is important to promote local
products
 to the market.
However
, I disagree if people only buy local
products
 because foreign
products
 could
also
 offer
quality
products
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 affordable
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
 which
beneficial
Add a missing verb
is beneficial
show examples
 for the customer.
Submitted by ryanrush16 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear, logical structure by organizing your ideas into well-defined paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, supported by relevant explanation or examples.
coherence cohesion
Strive to include both an introduction and conclusion that clearly express your position on the topic. Make sure your conclusion summarizes your main points effectively.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples or reasons. The examples should be relevant and enhance your argument, rather than simply fill space.
task achievement
The response completes the task, however, for a higher score, offer a more nuanced argument acknowledging potential benefits of local products as well, even if ultimately favoring international products.
task achievement
Clarify and develop your ideas to ensure that your essay communicates your position comprehensively. You could enhance the complexity of your argument by comparing and contrasting aspects rather than presenting a one-sided view.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points, ensuring they are relevant and well-integrated into your argument without making broad generalizations.
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