IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some countries spend a lot of money to make bicycle usage easier why is that is this the best solution to traffic congestion

#countries #money #bicycle #usage #traffic #congestion
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Bicycle
Correct article usage
A bicycle
show examples
 is
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 best
way
for traveling
Change preposition
to travel
show examples
. But, nowadays few
nation
Change to a plural noun
nations
show examples
 spend
huge
Add an article
a huge
show examples
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of money to improve
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
degin
Correct your spelling
design
 and quality
also
 it is
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 best
way
 to reduce
traffic
.
This
easy
Correct your spelling
essay
show examples
 will explore the reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
 statement in
upcoming
Add an article
an upcoming
the upcoming
show examples
 paragraph with
brief
Add an article
a brief
show examples
 conclusion
To begin
 with,
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
show examples
 are
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
more popular
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 youngsters. Many
celibrates
Correct your spelling
celebrities
 encourage the youth to ride
cycle
Correct article usage
the cycle
show examples
 and there are several
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
show examples
 of
pedal
Add an article
the pedal
a pedal
show examples
cycle
.
Firstly
, it is helpful for health. To describe
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
,
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
show examples
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a good for health
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
 good for
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
.
As well as
, every age group individual can
use
bicycle
Add an article
a bicycle
the bicycle
show examples
.
Thera
Correct your spelling
There
show examples
 are many
person
Change to a plural noun
people
show examples
 are busy in their daily schedule
also
 they have not time to do exercise. If they can
use
cycle
Correct article usage
the cycle
show examples
 to go
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their office it is
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 best
way
 to do exercise
also
 it is helpful for
reduce
Change the verb form
reducing
show examples
 many
type
Change to a plural noun
types
show examples
 of
fat related
Add a hyphen
fat-related
show examples
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
show examples
.
Apart from
this
,
pedal
Correct article usage
the pedal
show examples
cycle
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
also
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
 stamina. Next
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
,
cycle
Fix the agreement mistake
cycling
show examples
 are
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 best
way
 to reduce
pollution
 and
traffic
. First and foremost,
pollution
 is a big problem
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all over the world. But,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
introduce
Wrong verb form
introduced
show examples
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
show examples
 to reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution
. To explain it,
pedal
Add an article
the pedal
show examples
cycle
 is a good
way
 to save money
also
 every
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
 can purchase a
bicycle
 because the price of
cycle
Correct article usage
the cycle
show examples
 is chief. Every
cycle
 run
to
Change the verb form
uses
show examples
use
man power
Correct your spelling
manpower
show examples
also
 it can never consume any type of fuel and
not
Add a missing verb
does not
show examples
 produce harmful gases which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 our environment.
In other words
, pedal
cycle
Fix the agreement mistake
cycles
show examples
also
 decrease
traffic
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
. To illustrate it,
cycle
Fix the agreement mistake
cycles
show examples
 take
short
Correct article usage
a short
show examples
 place
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 run
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to four
wheeler
Change to a plural noun
wheelers
show examples
 and
cycle
Fix the agreement mistake
cycles
show examples
 take less space for parking
To conclude
, pedal
cycle
Fix the agreement mistake
cycling
show examples
 is
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 best mode to
drop
Verb problem
reduce
show examples
traffic
Correct article usage
the traffic
show examples
 and
pollution
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 of
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
also
bicycle
use
 is very good for health.
As well as
, it is chief and everyone can purchase it.
Submitted by tarlochansinghkhinda on

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coherence cohesion
The essay structure is rudimentary, lacking clear introductory statements that outline the upcoming discussion, as well as a proper conclusion that summarizes the points made. The body paragraphs should clearly state the main points with proper topic sentences.
coherence cohesion
The essay's logical flow is disjointed, with ideas presented in a haphazard manner. It's essential to connect sentences and paragraphs in a logical manner that guides the reader through your argument, using cohesive devices, such as linking words and phrases, appropriately.
task achievement
The essay partially addresses the task. To improve, ensure that you fully respond to all parts of the question, including the reasons why some countries promote bicycle usage and a clear discussion on whether it's the best solution to traffic congestion.
task achievement
The ideas should be elaborated in a clear and comprehensive way. At present, the points made are underdeveloped, requiring more detailed explanations and a consistent line of reasoning.
task achievement
Include relevant, specific examples that support your main points. This strengthens the argument and clearly illustrates how your ideas directly relate to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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