IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some student work while studying.This often results in lacking tome for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the cause of this? What solution can yoi suggest?

#student #work #results #tome #education #pressure #yoi
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In
this
Linking Words
 present scenario
mostly
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
found
Add a missing verb
are found
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 working and studying at the same
time
Use synonyms
. Some of them manage their
work
Use synonyms
 and
study
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 other gets frustrated and depressed. Many
student
Use synonyms
 lack
financiallyand tents
Correct your spelling
finances and tend
 to
be
Change the verb form
work
show examples
work
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their own by themselves.
However
Linking Words
, some of them thought that working in any institution would grab the experience for future benefits and they were more secure to get
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
 level of job after completing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
study
Use synonyms
 level. First of all, the main causes behind the
lacking
Replace the word
lack of
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 for education ia
due to
Linking Words
 the financial strike and
Linking Words
due to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the high rate of
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
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 that
Correct article usage
the universitie
show examples
universitie
Correct your spelling
universities
university
 has taken into
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
consideration. For
intance
Correct your spelling
instance
, when
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 used to read
bbs
Correct your spelling
BBS
show examples
 1st year, my friend
sareeta
Change the capitalization
Sareeta
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 used to teach in
private
Correct article usage
a private
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 boarding school.
Similarly
Linking Words
, she used to take only three periods and miss the
last
Linking Words
 two periods.
Due to
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 her poor economic condition, she could not afford the college
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
sge
Correct your spelling
she
 feels down
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 exam comes near.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, spme of the private institution takes experienced
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
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thats
Correct your spelling
that
 way,
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 have to
work
Use synonyms
 to
grab
Verb problem
gain
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
experience.
Likewise
Linking Words
, the lower education system of the government universities makes the
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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join private
foundation
Fix the agreement mistake
foundations
show examples
 out of their family background. The students who
work
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 and
study
Use synonyms
 at
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same period should manage their
Use synonyms
time table
Correct your spelling
timetable
show examples
 properly.
Ratherly
Correct your spelling
Rather
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would suggest them to do
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
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time
Use synonyms
 job for
two three
Add a hyphen
two-three
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 hours only.
Subsequently
Linking Words
,
family
Add an article
the family
a family
show examples
 should understand their
children
Change noun form
children's
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ability
Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
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 and encourage them in
right
Add an article
the right
show examples
 way. Many universities should provide
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
free education to
the high
Rephrase
highly
show examples
 skilled
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
fund
Add an article
the fund
a fund
show examples
 should be
Wrong verb form
raised
show examples
raise
Wrong verb form
raised
show examples
Change preposition
for
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 those who
belongs
Change the verb form
belong
show examples
 to poor family background. In conclusion,
Use synonyms
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 at the same
time
Use synonyms
 is more pressurized so, both family and university support
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 needed and
expertise
Replace the word
expert
show examples
 students should be taken to take the class free.
Submitted by dahalchandra75 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and avoid using too many ideas in one paragraph. This will help maintain a logical structure throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion should effectively introduce the topic and summarize the main points without introducing new ideas. Your conclusion was appropriate, but the introduction could be more specific to the essay question.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with specific examples and explanations to provide a thorough understanding of the topic. Some of your points lacked the necessary detail to fully convince the reader.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task and make sure your essay is a complete response to the question, including reasons and solutions. While your essay did touch on the reasons and solutions, the connection to the question could be made clearer.
task achievement
Present ideas clearly and comprehensively, ensuring they are well-developed and expanded upon. Aim to go into more depth with each point and support it with reasoning or examples.
task achievement
Use relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points. The example of the student Sareeta was relevant but ensure that any examples provided are fully fleshed out and contribute significantly to the overall argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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