Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities (for example, helping at home or at work). Others believe that, outside of school, children should be free to enjoy their lives.

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The topic
about
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of
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children
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is always an interesting topic with
pro
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apply
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contra opinions. In concern with
responsibility
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, many people believe that
children
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should have extra
responsibility
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and some others believe that
children
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should be free to enjoy their lives. The people who believe that
children
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should be free from extra
responsibility
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maybe
Correct your spelling
may
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think that adding extra
responsibility
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can be a burden for the
children
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. The world of the
children
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is playing. Because of that, they do not have to carry out responsibilities that are not yet their
job
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. But sometimes, we as adults use our perspectives about
responsibility
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as a
job
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that
make
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makes
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us burdened.
However
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, in the
children
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’s view, it can be very different. They can do the
job
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or
responsibility
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without hesitation because they think that they are playing. Some
children
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even like
if
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it if
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they are given the task of cleaning the dirty dishes because it means that they can play with the water.
In
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On
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the other hand, there are many adults who believe that giving
the
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apply
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children
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extra
responsibility
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means
stimulate
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stimulating
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the
children
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in several
development
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developmental
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aspects.
Firstly
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, the motoric stimulation of the
children
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can be fulfilled.
Children
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need enough activities to enhance their
motoric
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motor
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skill
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skills
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. Giving them extra
responsibility
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can activate
this
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skill.
Secondly
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, it can stimulate the creativity of the
children
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to solve the problem. Giving them an extra
job
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means that there will be another difficulty that has to be solved. So, the
children
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will find a way to solve the problem.
Lastly
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, the extra
responsibility
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can help them to be more independent, and
this
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is a characteristic that can help them a lot in society’s life. To summarize,
although
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there are people who believe that the
children
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’s
job
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is playing and they do not have to take the extra
responsibility
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, I prefer to give extra
responsibility
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to the
children
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so they can be more prepared to
involve
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be involved
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in society.
Submitted by isnaini on

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coherence cohesion
A logical structure is somewhat maintained throughout the essay, but clear paragraphing and better signaling of idea progression will help in guiding the reader more effectively.
coherence cohesion
While an introduction and conclusion are present, they should more explicitly state the main arguments and recapitulate your position for improved clarity.
coherence cohesion
Main points are identifiable, but they require stronger support through more detailed explanations or examples that are directly relevant.
task achievement
In terms of task achievement, the response only partially addresses all parts of the task. The essay should provide a balanced discussion of both views before presenting a clear conclusion based on the arguments made.
task achievement
Ideas presented are understandable, yet they must be further expanded into clearer and more comprehensive arguments throughout the essay.
task achievement
Use more relevant and specific examples to strengthen the arguments. The example about children washing dishes, for instance, could be integrated better into the discussion through elaboration on how such an activity benefits their development.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • extra responsibilities
  • develop skills
  • life lessons
  • work ethic
  • sense of responsibility
  • contribute to
  • family
  • community
  • playtime
  • physical development
  • mental development
  • balance
  • enjoyment
  • guide
  • childhood
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