Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or not agree?
Many
people
believe that Luck
is the most crucial factor
, which leads to an individual’s success
. But I do not agree with this
notion, because hard work plays an extremely important role in achieves
the goals.
On the one hand, I accept that Wrong verb form
achieving
luck
can be an important factor
. Firstly
, some people
were born into a
wealthy Correct article usage
apply
family
, that’s Fix the agreement mistake
families
luck
because they will have more advantages, such
as access better
education, Change preposition
to better
get
financial assistance, and so on. Verb problem
apply
This
helps them have a better chance of success
than people
from poor families. Furthermore
, some people
are blessed with great natural talents that others do not have. For example
, Mozart started write
musical works when he was five. Wrong verb form
writing
Although
his efforts cannot be denied, his innate intelligence is also
a factor
in his success
.
On the other hand
, luck
is not the only thing that leads to success
because success
mainly comes from each individual's perseverance and ability. We can't always be lucky, success
based on luck
will not be sustainable. Though Mozart’s
Correct your spelling
Mozart is
aforementioned
known as a genius and has achieved Correct word choice
apply
success
, without his effort and hard work, he would not have a
variety of famous works Correct article usage
the
as
he has today. Another example, Correct word choice
apply
if
students do not have complete knowledge about subjects or determination, they could fail the academic exam. Add a missing verb
is if
In other words
, to achieve success
, you need to rely on factors such
as perseverance, knowledge, and personal skills.
In conclusion, although
luck
sometimes brings unexpected results, but
personal effort is still the most important Remove the conjunction
apply
factor
in leading to success
.Submitted by huetrn26 on
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
02: Include a clear introduction stating your position on the topic and a summarizing conclusion to enhance the presentation of your argument.
coherence cohesion
03: Support main points with specific examples and explanations to strengthen arguments and demonstrate a broad range of linguistic resources.
task achievement
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task achievement
05: Present ideas clearly and comprehensively, making sure they are relevant to the task, and maintain a focus on the argument without veering off-topic.
task achievement
06: Employ a range of specific examples that are directly related to supporting the views expressed. These examples should be relevant and precise, enhancing the argument.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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