financial education should be included as a mandatory subject in schools to prepare students for managing money effectively. to what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is widely intended that financial
education
should be integrated as mandatory
subject in Add an article
a mandatory
school
curriculum to equip Correct article usage
the school
students
with necessary skills related to budgeting and expense management. This
essay will examine why Fianacial
Correct your spelling
Financial
education
should be mandated and why it may not be suitable.
Financial education
holds
a pivotal role in educating Verb problem
plays
students
about how to manage their funds. To be more specific, expense management helps to exclude all the unnecessary expenses plus maintaining the cash flow of the money. Moreover
, Budgeting helps you to build wealth overtime
. Financial literacy Correct your spelling
over time
also
gives us the
sense, Correct article usage
a
where
and how to invest our money. Budgeting will not only Change preposition
of where
helps
to get a stable future but will Correct subject-verb agreement
help
also
provide us financial security. Secondly
, Financial education
can help young adults feel more confident and empowered when it comes to making financial decisions. This
can lead to a greater sense of control over there
financial future.
Correct your spelling
their
Conversely
, the consent of the students
is crucial, as lack of interest or satisfaction of learning financial concepts can lead to disagreement & disrupt
the classroom decorum. Some Correct word choice
and disrupt
students
attend the classes for the sake of completing their attendance, which make
it difficult to engage them in the learning process. Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
Secondly
, financial literacy can require resources, such
as qualified instructors, material
and technology which may be available in every institute. Fix the agreement mistake
materials
For Example
, in
remote villages may not have comprehensive financial Change preposition
apply
education
to
their Change preposition
for
students
, which can put those students
at a disadvantage when it come
to managing their finances .
ThoughChange the verb form
comes
,
Financial Remove the comma
apply
education
plays an extraordinary role in learning
process for both school and college Add an article
the learning
students
, its effectiveness may be diminished for those who lack interest or motivation to learn. Therefore
, careful consideration should be given to how financial literacy is implemented to ensure its relevance for all students
.Submitted by imsimar21 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical structure, which impacts the overall coherence and cohesion of the argument. Try to present your points in a more organized manner, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is developed and expanded upon.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but could be more clearly defined and impactful. Refine your opening and closing paragraphs to better frame your argument and summarise your key points.
coherence cohesion
The main points you've presented are somewhat supported, but you should aim to provide more detailed explanations and development within your paragraphs. Expand on your ideas and connect them back to the question for a stronger argument.
task achievement
The response to the task is complete, but the ideas could be presented more comprehensively to fully address the essay prompt. Enhance the essay by exploring the implications and repercussions of the argument to a greater extent.
task achievement
While the essay offers a general discussion on the topic, the ideas presented are not consistently clear or comprehensive. Strive to articulate your views more distinctly and explain how they relate to the question at hand.
task achievement
The essay includes examples, but they lack the depth and relevance required to effectively illustrate the points being made. Use specific and pertinent examples to substantiate your argument and demonstrate a real-world understanding of financial education.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example