It's thought by many people that the internet has caused people to become more isolated from society. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
In
this
contemporary epoch, usage of social sites and networks is increasing day by day. Moreover
, there is no doubt that cyberspace has numerous benefits such
as e-books, online shopping, video games, video call
, chatting etc. Fix the agreement mistake
calls
However
, it has been considered by some individuals that expansion
of Correct article usage
the expansion
internet
has led to loneliness among Add an article
the internet
masses
. Correct article usage
the masses
This
essay intends to elaborate the
reasons why partially agree with the notion, in upcoming paragraphs.
Change preposition
on the
To begin
with, human beings of all ages spend most of their time
looking on
phone screens Change preposition
at
instead
of spending time
with their peers and fellow beings.
Nowadays, children like to sit alone in their rooms rather than talking
and Wrong verb form
talk
playing
with Wrong verb form
play
parents
and grandparents. Correct pronoun usage
their parents
This
is all because of technology and smartphone
that no one wants to share their Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
time
with loved ones. For instance
, a survey was conducted by Colombian University, USA, in 2021, which revealed that kids who have more than 10 hours of screen time
are more likely to get depressed at early
age. The fact is, Add an article
an early
every one
Replace the word
everyone
tend
to love the glamourous Change the verb form
tends
life
which could
be seen on Wrong verb form
can
Add an article
the internet
internet
and when individuals are unable to have Capitalize word
Internet
such
life
they feel anxiety and depression.
Correct article usage
a life
Furthermore
, they try to insist their parents to
buy that are shown on Remove the particle
apply
instagram
etc.
On the flip side, Change the capitalization
Instagram
internet
has become an Add an article
the internet
indespensable
part of our lives and it is hard to imagine a Correct your spelling
indispensable
life
without social sites. Owing to this
, one can easily talk and video call their loved ones who are living away from them. Adding to this
, masses
can watch Correct article usage
the masses
latest
movies, serials, and web series Correct article usage
the latest
while
sitting in their comforter. In addition
to this
, social apps such
as crave
, netflix, Capitalize word
Crave
amazon prime
etc. has added numerous pleasure to Correct your spelling
Amazon Prime
life
of people who are living alone away from their families. For example
, an article was published in The Hindu newspaper last
year which showed that the
Correct article usage
apply
introvert
people like to make friends on social sites Replace the word
introverted
instead
of making friends in real life
, which further
gives them the opportunity to share their feelings with someone.
To sum up
, it can be analyzed from above
discussion that advancement in technology has both pros and cons. But people should always remember the importance of Add an article
the above
real
Add a hyphen
real-life
life
relations and should value them because when online friends will not show up or leave you in between, it is the family and parents who will always be there for you. Thus
, we should enjoy the social networking side along with
Submitted by bhullarsimran2121 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
You should ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea and be well developed with examples and explanations. Your introduction is lacking a clear thesis statement and your conclusion was cut off, indicating an unfinished response.
task achievement
To fully address the task, you must develop your ideas completely and provide a complete response. Your essay should fully cover the topic, but it seems that your essay ended abruptly. Be sure to finish your conclusion to encapsulate your argument effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.