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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the figures for imprisonment in five countries between 1930 and 1980

The graph below shows the figures for imprisonment in five countries between 1930 and 1980
The data below demonstrates the number of prison sentences in five nations from 1930 to 1980.
Overall
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,
three
Correct article usage
the three
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 leading countries remained the same throughout all of the years with some occasional fluctuations,
while
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 Australia was outnumbered by Great Britain‘s steadily increasing dynamics by the end of
represented
Add an article
the represented
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 timeline. Three leaders demonstrated relatively stable statistics.
However
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, at the beginning of the period, in 1930, Canada dominated the chart, but it gradually decreased imprisonment numbers during the course of 50 years giving away the first place to the United States, which statistics slightly uplifted during
this
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 time.
Whereas
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, New Zealand secured the third place with
sudden
Correct article usage
a sudden
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 fall followed up by
consequent
Correct article usage
a consequent
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 gradual uplift. On the opposite spectrum, Great Britain which more than doubled jail sentences by 1980, and that, combined with Austria’s wavelike fall, allowed it to climb out of lowest rates almost reaching Canada and New Zealand.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "uplifted" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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