Many museums charge for the enteries while others are free? do you think the advantages of charging people for admission for museum outweigh disadvantages
These days, many museums
charging
Wrong verb form
charge
entery
Correct your spelling
entry
fee
, Fix the agreement mistake
fees
while
some others are still remain
for free. Different views can be seen from Change the verb form
still remain
this
phenomenon. I believe, by
requiring a ticket, the advantages can actually Correct word choice
that by
do
outweigh the disadvantages, which I will explain in Unnecessary verb
apply
this
essay.
Firstly
, the most obvious disadvantage can be seen in the lower number of visitors. This
can caused by the ticket price, which make
people hesitate to enter the place. They tend to find another alternative, Change the verb form
makes
such
as a free exhibition, to spend their leisure times
. Fix the agreement mistake
time
Other
reason is, Change the wording
Another
visitors
might feel those extra fees are not worth it, since they Correct word choice
that visitors
expecting
more as they pay higher. Wrong verb form
expect
For instance
, in a dinosaur museum, they would like to see a very high stack of the original dinosaur bones, which the place might not able
to provide and cause Add a missing verb
be able
dissapoinment
.
Correct your spelling
disappointment
However
, those fees are actually necessary for the treatment of the museum. The more profit they get, the greater improvements
they can Correct article usage
the improvements
serve
. Verb problem
make
For example
, it can offers
cleaner environments and nice entertaining features. Change the verb form
offer
Moreover
, by paying for the admission, the public indirectly help
to boost the economy of their country. Change the verb form
helps
For example
, in my country, everytime
we pay for the Replace the word
every time
entery
, at least 10% of the price will contribute Correct your spelling
entry
in
the Gross Domestic Change preposition
to
Products
.
Fix the agreement mistake
Product
Overall
, many benefits can be gain
from those charges, despite Wrong verb form
gained
of
some negative impacts. The number of people coming might decrease, Change preposition
apply
as well as
the profit. But, more advantages can be seen, so in conclusion, it does outweight
the disadvantages.Correct your spelling
outweigh
Submitted by vionaanjelia08 on
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task achievement
The introduction could be improved by directly addressing the question and providing a clearer overview of the essay's stance on the advantages and disadvantages of museums charging entry fees.
task achievement
Ensure your ideas are fully developed and expanded with specific examples and clear arguments to better demonstrate task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow of the essay by improving transitions between paragraphs and using cohesive devices effectively.
coherence cohesion
Grammar mistakes, particularly verb tense consistency and article usage, need attention. Proofreading could greatly enhance the readability of the essay.
coherence cohesion
A conclusion should not introduce new ideas ('number of people coming might decrease, as well as the profit'), but rather summarize and restate the writer's position on the topic.