The line graph represents the percentage of visitors to England who experienced four different attractions in Brighton.
The diagram illustrates the percentage of four
attractions
Change the noun form
attraction
visitors
in Brighton, UK, in over 30 years
. Overall
, Pavilon
had the highest number of Correct your spelling
Pavilion
visitors
in the last
20 years
compared to the other
.
Fix the agreement mistake
others
Firstly
, In 1980, Pier was the the
lowest part Remove the redundancy
apply
that
stood at 10% and fluctuated for 20 Correct pronoun usage
apply
years
. Moreover
, it went up for the last
10 years
then
touched 20% of visitors
.
On the other hand
, the visitors
of
Change preposition
to
Art
Gallery made a hill, between 1980 and 1990, Correct article usage
the Art
that
reached Correct pronoun usage
which
the
peak Correct article usage
a
just
under 40% Change preposition
of just
visitors
. Change preposition
of visitors
Then
it significantly dive
Change the verb form
dives
untill
the end of 2010.
Correct your spelling
until
Next,
the percentage of tourist
that went to Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
Pavilion
dramatically Correct article usage
the Pavilion
risen
for 15 Wrong verb form
rose
years
and the peak of Pavilion's
Correct article usage
the Pavilion's
visitors
reached almost 50% which was the highest number of visitor
from all of the Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
aspect
.
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
Lastly
, people that went to festival
when visiting Britain Fix the agreement mistake
festivals
was
slightly decreased and stood at just under 30% Unnecessary verb
apply
for along
the Change preposition
over
years
.Submitted by joyapakpahan on
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.
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